Young Forever
by TurnItUp03
Summary: M/M. Love, had no meaning to me, until someone came along and gave it definition. So how do I tell him that it will soon lose its purpose? How does one say goodbye?
1. Chapter 1

**D: Disclaimed**

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><p>Chapter One<p>

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><p>"I would hardly call it a debate Isabella. He was hardly fit to state his case." I mocked my best friend. "Besides, it wasn't my intentions to humiliate him, I was just… merely stating the truth that happened to benefit me."<p>

"Don't call me that," she gave a friendly shove for addressing her by her birth name, "and you totally burned him. Did you see how pissed he was?"

"Yeah," I scoffed at the thought before shoving my history books in my locker. "I'm definitely not looking forward to the confrontations that will ensue after my outbursts."

"It's about time you told that jackass off," she gloated, "Emmett had it coming."

"Please Bella," I sighed, "can we ignore the fact that I just set my fate for the rest of my school year and act as if I won't be facing it in fear. I mean, it's only been the first week of the curricular year and I already made an enemy. Not a good start."

"C'mon Eddie," She smirked at the nickname I despised, "it's our last year, at least you're going out with a bang."

"Pfft." I scoffed once again. "At least you'll see graduation. Me, I'm not exactly sure."

"Quit being a drama queen Edward and just accept that you won't be forgotten." She giggled and wrapped her arms around my right; "people will be talking about this until, and maybe after. Edward, the one who put the ignorant, self-centered, asshole of a jock known as Emmett McCarty in his place, what more could you ask for?"

"A new identity?"

I've known Isabella Swan since preschool, if it hadn't been for her determination to be my friend, I wouldn't have been a part of the friendship that we held onto for years. Everyone knew her as the daughter of Chief Charlie Swan of Forks Police Department, which sadly was the probable reasons neither of us were invited to any events slash parties that were hosted by the popular kids in the student body.

It hadn't really bothered me, but Bella seemed willing to fit in with the crowds at any chance given. Unfortunately, none have made the effort to send her an invite she so desperately craved. I'd be the shoulder she'd cry on when it came to the constant obsessions for her to fit in with the crowds.

She had always wanted the experiences of a high school student. The typical days of skipping class, hanging out with her best friends on weekends on shopping sprees and a day of checking out boys she hoped she could have, and of course actually having a boyfriend. None she could obtain because she was my best friend, and I was her only friend, as it seems.

We weren't exactly on the popular route when it came to fitting into cliques, but in a way, our army of two seemed enough for me. There had only been one other that pertained to be our third wheel: Seth Clearwater. He's known as Leah's kid's brother, one of the plastics of high school. The only reason Seth tagged along at times was for the reason of Bella; poor guy had a crush on the girl who was oblivious to the interest of the opposite sex. I hadn't told Bella because I knew she would badger the poor kid.

Though, just like Bella, Seth tried his best to fit in with any group, but being the shadow to his sister, it was a difficult task. He had told us of her rule that he couldn't be friends with her friends, so that kind of left it to just Bella and me. The jocks wouldn't even give the poor kid a chance. I guess it would be awkward to hang out with Leah's boyfriend and his group of idiots.

Leah's is dating Paul Lahote, one of obnoxious idiots that try to make my life a living hell along with Emmett McCarty, Jared Cameron, Mike Newton and Jacob Black. Each of them fitting into their own world, claiming they're the life of this school. Emmett's girlfriend was just as self-centered as he is, Rosalie Hale, cheer-captain and Leah's best friend. Then there's Kim Trail, Jared's girlfriend and third in command to their group of dimwits. I was sure they'd be the cast of Mean Girls if the movie had been made with them in mind.

I, of course kept to myself, for my own personal reasons of course. Reasons I can't seem to admit to myself. A secret I keep to myself. Bella hadn't even known because I didn't want her to know, she's tends to blow things out of proportion and will treat as if I was fragile being that deserved to be catered to. It's just who she was.

But I promised to tell her someday, hopefully soon.

My father has faith that one day I wouldn't need to hide it, or go through it. He's very passionate to his job. Being the pastor's son hasn't really been a walk in the park; in fact, it was more of a burden. But I would never change it for the world. My father always told me to have faith, and I've been living with the guidance since then.

Edward Masen SR, my father had been married to my late mother, Elizabeth Masen. Cancer took her from me at the age of three, and the only memories I have of her are the ones my father had given me. Like any widowed father, he hasn't met anyone that could seem to amount to my late mother. I knew he still loved her and thought about her everyday.

Growing up hadn't been that difficult, but it has been lonely. It was always just I and dad, and sometimes Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins from the church that would often invite us to their family events. They were the only people I had known from the reservation and they were the reason that the kids on the reservation are able to still go to school.

I'm guessing one of the teens thought it would be fun to light the school field on fire not really thinking that the school next to it was just as flammable. Now thanks to Mr. Jenkins, he was able to get a school bus route for the kids to come to our school in Forks. But I guess there was one positive thing that came out of all of this, reconciliation built friendships between the kids in town and the kids out on the rez; excluding Bella and me.

I knew of one teenage boy that Bella has a crush on. The fact is, she just doesn't feel that she's pretty enough to ask him out, that and she's far too shy to, and I can't blame her. Jacob Black is just as intimidating as the other jocks he hangs with.

Since Charlie had become friends with Billy Black and Harry Clearwater, Bella was introduced to the kids that lived there. The only one that seemed to be friendly with her was a girl named Emily. She was home schooled until she finished and married her best friend Sam Uley. Since then, Bella has kind of based her happily ever after on the couple's relationship.

Of course there's me. Edward Masen JR. Not much I could say other that the fact that I've been raised under my father and his strong beliefs as a strong Christian. Prayers are used daily in our house, and he strongly believes in the man upstairs. But me, I haven't been entirely faithful to my father's beliefs. My father used to be the stereotypical homophobic pastor, and it even got worse after I admitted to him that I am gay, but it sort of changed a couple months ago.

His only wish is that I am able to experience love and life like any other person in this world, which is why he depends on his faith to help me out.

"Have you made your decision son?" He asked, slouched and exhausted in the sofa beside me.

"I'm not going." I muttered.

~:~:~: Lake Pleasant :~:~:~

The gathering grounds for many of Forks High school students, almost every clique found their place here. Tonight was the night that Seth would take up on his initiation to be finally welcomed into the jock circle, but little did the teen know, this was just for their mere entertainment. The only reason Jacob was there was to make sure that his friend wouldn't be harmed.

It had been Emmett's idea to send Seth out to the docks. There were three docks in different distances out on the lake, Seth's dare consisted of him retrieving the flags placed on each before coming back to shore in the time-span given.

Seth's determination always got the best of him, and his main focus was to finally take his place in the group of popular teens. Paul would be taking Leah out so she had no clue of the ritual, which meant that only a few would be able to witness Seth make a fool of himself.

No one but Seth knew that he wasn't a good swimmer, which is why the teen was far too stubborn to give up. The only lights to guide Seth to his destinations were the headlights of the cars at shore and the moon that shone above them in the starry night.

Emmett and his group watched carelessly as the teen began to walk past the shoreline and dive into the lake to make his way to the first dock. Jacob had been the only one worried for the boy as he watched Seth struggle to get to the first dock. His fists clenched and his heart skipped a few beats, the anxiety was getting to him as he thought how stupid it was for Seth to go forth with the dare.

The first flag had been gathered and everyone could see that Seth was already exhausted, but that hadn't stopped him from jumping into the cold water once again to race to the next. Screams and shouts bellowed across the group as they cheered on the teen, urging him to keep going while Jacob hoped that the whole thing would be over and done with.

It wasn't until the last dock that sirens could be heard from a distance that sent everyone in a panic, including Seth as he dived back into the lake to swim to shore. Just as everyone scrambled to their vehicles, Seth's anxiety took hold of him and began to fill his lungs with unwanted water. Jacob took it as a sign to rescue his friend before he ended up drowning in the lake.

As the vehicle's pulled out one by one, Jacob had already been close to reaching Seth before the water pulled him below the surface.

"Hang on Seth!" Jacob shouted above the sirens blaring, "I'm coming, hang on!"

"I can't hold on much longe…." Seth struggled to paddle until he felt to weak to continue and began to disappear in the water.

"SETH!" Jacob worried as he dived under to grab his friend.

Jacob pulled the younger teen to the surface and raced to shore realizing that Seth's breaths were no longer there. At the same time Jacob had pulled Seth to shore, the police had arrived. Jacob had already been performing CPR on his friend by the time Chief Swan had reached them.

"What happened Jacob?" The chief asked as he pushed the teen aside to take over.

"He was swimming…" Jacob began to stutter as he continued to worry for his younger friend, "he didn't make it… when he heard the sirens…. He… he raced back."

"C'mon Seth." Chief Swan pleaded as he pumped the teen's chest. "Breath for me kid…"

As a tear fell down Jacob's cheek, Seth's body jerked forward as he spat out the water that blocked his breathing, making the boy gasp for air while Chief Swan pulled him forward to breath.

"Take it slowly son." The chief urged him, "Bridges?"

"Yes sir?" The other officer replied.

"Call the ambulance while I contact his parents."

Jacob knelt next to Seth for comfort. Though not much people knew of their friendship, they knew that they could count on each other. Some may wonder why they both associated with different groups, but it was Seth's idea for Jacob to have something that he couldn't. It's just who Seth was, caring and very considerate to his best friend.

"This isn't worth it anymore Seth." Jacob mumbled. "Screw all of this bullshit."

"I'm fine Jacob."

"No, you're not." Jacob growled, "I almost lost you to a bet. I'm done with them. I'm done with all of them."

It was the promise Jacob had made to himself at that moment. He was no longer going to be playing the jock that the school labeled him as, he was going to better himself for his friend and for those who were around him.

This would be the moment Jacob's life would change.


	2. Chapter 2

**D: Disclaimed**

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><p>Chapter Two<p>

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><p>Seth Clearwater.<p>

The name kept going through my head like a marquee blinking above me. It was just hard to believe that the teen had come so close to death. I couldn't help but wonder how his family felt at the moment. His parents had always been the loving caring type of people, I even witnessed their kindness, and it made it more difficult to cope with the idea that they could have lost their son.

My father had come in late that night, and he usually wouldn't if that meant that something was terribly wrong –so I didn't know what to expect when he walked through that door one in the morning.

As soon as I could, I followed my father to the hospital the next day to see him, knowing that he at least deserved the support from me, and Bella of course. She had already been at the hospital with her dad.

As much as I tried to stay, it was hard to stick around when the waiting room became crowded with his family and people from the reservation. It almost seemed pointless to make an appearance, but Seth seemed pleased to see Bella and me. Even though he was exhausted, he told us that it was all a big accident and that he hoped he hadn't got anyone in trouble. That and he didn't want to be left alone in the hospital another day.

I couldn't say much or even comprehend on what was about to happen. Bella's father was still investigating what happened, which meant that those who weren't involved, needed to leave until all statements were taken. Including Jacob's who happened to be sitting in the waiting room the entire time in silence next to his parents.

He sat in the waiting room like deadweight in between his parents. At that moment, I had wished I had telepathic abilities to hear what he was thinking. I couldn't tell if he was bothered by all of this or if he was afraid of some big truth coming to light. Did he really save Seth as word had been spreading, or was the story entirely different? Would Jacob really put his social life in jeopardy just to save Seth?

"Dr. Evans said he'll be released soon after he runs a few tests," Mr. Clearwater informed my father and few of the others, "they just want to make sure his breathing is functioning properly and there aren't any dangers of his lungs collapsing."

With the relief of Seth's conditions, we decided to go home and leave the family to themselves. I knew my father was still a bit distressed over this and I knew he'd be giving me a lecture when we got home. It wasn't his way of punishing me, but he had the habit of always placing me in the same situations and begin to worry if it had happened to me, I never understood until he seen me as fragile; something I don't like admitting to myself.

It took a few days for the council on the reservation to finally come up with the consequences the instigators would face. Emmett McCarty, Jacob Black, Jared Cameron and Mike Newton would be facing the same punishments: community service as well as an apology letter to the Clearwater family for their actions.

I wasn't sure how Seth felt about this all, but I was sure that he wasn't too happy to be put in the center of this, especially if he felt he was responsible for putting the guys through trouble. I could say that it would upset me that Seth would pity them, but that's just who he was. Kind-hearted.

It was Jacob I had noticed that was quick to respond to his duties and redeem himself to Seth and his family. It was in fact true when the story came to light; Jacob had saved Seth and had promised to stay by Seth's side as the friend he used to be. Bella was convinced, I wasn't so sure.

I found it awkward to see the trio associate and act as if nothing had happened, and I had tried my best. But after dealing my own issues, it was hard to concentrate on anyone else really. I was being medicated now, and I wasn't sure if I could really handle the constant calls to me and my father that I needed to come in and see the doctors; the problem was, I just didn't want to.

I guess my mind wandered from my personal issues when Mr. Black had approached my father with a proposal that I tutor Jacob with his schoolwork. Apparently, his grades had been dropping and his parents discovered that I was one of the students in Forks High with 4.0 GPA grade average. I wasn't exactly the smartest in class if I must admit, but I'm guessing I'm the only schmuck that would agree to this.

I could've said no. In fact –I had, until my father had convinced me that even though he hadn't fully supported Jacob being near me, I could help him pick up his grades and hopefully, his act. It wasn't only my father who insisted, but his parents thought it might be a good idea too.

I got the feeling Bella would be pleased to hear that I was cursed to be the teen's tutor, which meant that she'd be making every excuse to be my assistant whenever my sessions began with the high school jock. Though I hadn't heard the backlash from Jacob, I'm sure he wasn't too pleased to hear of this either.

I guess once Seth heard about the whole arrangement, he called me with an apology and promised me that he'd speak to Jacob about being polite. Even though I insisted that he don't bother with it, he felt that he needed to do something. The fact is –I was never sure how close Seth was to Jacob. I didn't even know that they were friends let alone spoke to each other.

I'm sure one day Seth would explain.

Dinner conversation was subtle, predictably normal for my father and I. He would often ask me what I needed to complete in my schoolwork and if there were any graduation fees he should worry about. I used to tell him not to worry about it, but after following the philosophy of 'Tomorrow is never promised,' he becomes very insistent I enjoy it for all of its worth.

Following my routines and making sure preparations for tomorrow were in place, I went to bed deep in thought. As I stared at the ceiling with a blank expression, my thoughts wandered to the fact that I'd be in the same room as Jacob Black and I would have to converse with him. I was worried that he would insult me in anyway possible and I just might not be strong enough to handle it.

I was never good with conflict.

But there are times I was able to stand up for myself, but that usually put me in a predicament I would much prefer to stay out of. Emmett was an example. I was sure that he was still plotting his revenge for my actions a few days ago.

It wasn't exactly in my agenda to confront Emmett in front of the entire class, and I will never recall on them. I could only hope that Emmett would one day realize that bullying those he sees lower than him, is wrong.

I've never understood why most of the guys in Emmett's group were like him; or why they idolized the man when he was no better than any of us. Or at least I try to think. Him and Rosalie are the reasons we're categorized.

Usually thinking about this nonsense is boring enough to bring on the z's, but tonight was a bit different. Eventually something was going to change after the tutor sessions. Either Jacob becomes tolerable, or he uses this as an opportunity to dig a deep grave for me. Or I could be exaggerating the whole thing. Either way, I plan to keep my guard up.

Friend or foe; I needed neither.

The next morning felt different too. The enthusiasm to actually go to class wasn't there. Call me a nerd, but I enjoy my classes and learning new things. But since I'd be practically babysitting the school jock after school, I wasn't looking forward to the stares that would come my way.

"Is it true?" Bella startled me in daze.

"Is what true?" I asked slightly annoyed. "What are you talking about Bells?"

"Jacob, Eddy." She giggled as held onto my arm, "Are you really tutoring him?"

"How did you find out anyways, Isabella…?"

"Everyone is talking about it." She stated bluntly, which set me on unease. "Well not everyone, but dad told me that you were such a great kid to step in. But I was wondering why you would put yourself in that position."

"I didn't." I muttered opening my locker. "My father and his parents discussed it before I had a chance to really think about it. I couldn't just say no when they practically were depending on me already."

"Who would've thought that Jacob would be failing though?" She asked in a whisper.

I shrugged. "It's not really my business to discuss it. I would much prefer to get this over with and hopefully get through this year without anymore conflicts."

"Yeah," she sighed in agreement, "besides, Seth is going to need our support when he comes back. God only knows the gossip that will be circulating."

"Yeah." I murmured. "Well, I'll see you at lunch."

I've only encountered Jacob once in my day, and he was alone. It seemed that the entire student body questioned why. In fact, in seemed like those in the popular ranks were all disconnected from the student body. For once, they were all quite and kept to themselves. It was a bit foreign to watch them walk around like zombies. Each to their own world and each a bit closed in. The cafeteria was quiet during the lunch hour, well quieter than the usual.

"It's like watching a new kid on their first day." Bella said as she sat next to me. "It's a bit weird to watch them this way. Kind of freaky actually."

"Bella!" I silently hissed. "We don't know what's going through their heads."

"Sorry," she replied, "it's just not like them."

"They could actually be experiencing some unfortunate emotions right now." I added, "I'm sure that they're human enough to know that Seth almost lost his life due to a joke they played."

"Yeah," she sighed, "you're probably right."

"I'm just hoping Seth can make it through the year without feeling the guilt." I admitted, "we both know that he's too kind-hearted to blame anyone, and we know for sure that he doesn't want to be the eye of the storm."

"When is Seth coming back anyways?" She asked.

"Monday I believe." I stared down at my lunch with no appetite. "I'm just hoping that this all blows over and we can at least help get Seth back to normal. Or close to it." I sighed and pushed my plate away. "I don't even know what I'm trying to say."

It was as awkward as it could get. The afternoon flew by quicker than I expected it to, and that meant I had to go home do my chores before Jacob showed up. I was in no mood in being a good host, but by the time I got home, my father insisted that I put out some snacks just to be courteous to our guest.

After the preparations were done, I decided to go in my room and change before Jacob arrived. It was more of a habit rather than me trying to impress him. My father always expected me to look my best when we had guests, whether I liked the person or not.

It didn't take long for the seconds to pass before the doorbell to ring and me to stumble across my bedroom floor to see a burgundy Chevrolet truck parked in the driveway. My nerves were playing the worst part, and I couldn't understand why. Sure I haven't spoken to Jacob, and honestly I hadn't known anything about him really.

When my father informed me that Jacob was waiting in the dining area, I couldn't help but choke on my words when I said I'd be right down.

My palms were now sweaty and my heart was racing. I think it was fear. Fear that Emmett just might be steering Jacob to harm me to get back at me for embarrassing him. If it were such, I began to pray my father wouldn't be far away if things were to get out of hand.

As I walked down the creaky stairs, I had become aware of just how old this house was. Anything and everything came to my mind just for a distraction. Things I hadn't noticed before had come to my awareness. The wallpaper peeling near the ceiling, the dusty chandelier that hung by the stairway, and the grandfather clock that ticked loudly with every step I took.

I wasn't sure what to expect once I peeked around the corner to the kitchen area, but I stopped and took one deep breath before continuing into the unknown.

Normalcy. I'm sure that this is what it was. Jacob sat at the table with one book in his hand and the other reaching his bag to retrieve another. He hadn't looked up yet, but I was sure that he knew that I was in the room by now. I felt ridiculous to have such a reaction as he dropped the text on the table with a loud thump.

"Umm…" I mumbled before I pulled out the chair opposite him.

He finally looked up with his dark eyes –but no expression. Blankness, and I was confused of how to feel about all of it. Was it good –or was it bad?

Instead of greeting me, he reached in his bag again and pulled out his pen and notebooks before placing them on the table and opening them. Without any acknowledgement, he opened his textbook and began writing down notes.

Honestly? I didn't know what to say; or think for the matter.

He ignored me and I was supposed to be here to tutor him with whatever he was behind in, and yet, it looked as if he already knew what he was doing. I tried my best by keeping my attention in my history books, but I couldn't help but watch him scribble in his books while flipping through his texts.

Who thought that Jacob Black needed a tutor in the first place?

"The sooner I get this done, the quicker I'll be out of here and out of your way." He mumbled, still staring down at his textbooks. It caught me off guard, and I was surprised to hear that he felt he was taking my time; or bothering me somehow.

"I'm only here to help Jacob." I replied anxiously. "If you have any questions to ask, I'd be glad to…"

"Just don't worry about it," he finally looked up at me, "I got this. I don't need a tutor. Let's just get through this and we don't have to speak to each other."

I'm pretty sure I should have felt offended by his ignorance, but I wasn't. He was being rude, and I didn't want to play nice just to make him happy. Instead of retaliating, I did as he had and ignored him by finishing off what I needed to do.

Without so much as a goodbye, he picked up his things, quickly packed his books and said goodbye to my father before rushing out the door. It did bother me, I'll admit it; but what had bothered me the most was that he was just exactly like Emmett. A jerk.

If I could just cope with the idea of spending the next month or so with these tutoring sessions, then I could get through this without ever having to worry about seeing Jacob again. I'm kind of hoping that his attitude improves during the process, but that could be me asking for too much.

"How did it go?" I could see my father in the reflection of the window; I hadn't noticed that I was watching Jacob leave until he pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Smoothly I guess." I shrugged. "At least he seemed to know what he was doing."

"I'm not big on having him here either Edward, but I'm sure that Jacob will come around eventually." He pulled me for his fatherly hugs, "maybe this could be the beginning of a friendship."

"I doubt it father." I replied as I began putting my books away. "I'm just hoping the next month or until he improves goes by quickly. I don't want any friends. It's easier this way."

"Now you know that's not true Edward." He argued, "it hurts me to see you prefer pushing people away. Whatever happens within the next few years, I at least want you to enjoy it."

"I am dad." I sighed annoyed, "Bella is the only friend I need. It's hard enough having to tell her soon."

"Just please Edward," He spoke before I could flee to my room, "if the opportunity comes, don't push anyone else away."

"Fine," I sighed in defeat, "but I'm not making any promises."


	3. Chapter 3

**D: Disclaimed**

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><p>Chapter Three<p>

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><p>The more I thought of the tutor session, the more it bothered me to know that I was wasting my time. I could be spending more time with Bella, or even Seth as it was. I knew he'd be returning to school today, but now, everything would be different.<p>

My father could tell I was still bothered, the fact that I barely touched my breakfast was enough for him to ask me if I was okay. I gave him a shrug and told him that I was fine, that I just had a few things on my mind that I'd like to deal with myself.

My father had always been concerned for me, and I couldn't blame him. I wasn't exactly the type to tell him everything until it was usually too late. I was just used of handling things on my own. I just didn't feel as if I could burden him with my problems, especially when he had his own to deal with. I knew he still missed my mother dearly, and it couldn't help that I almost looked like her in some ways. He would remind me everyday of how much I did.

After breakfast was finished and I was ready for school, I made my way to the car my father insisted I drive to school everyday. I couldn't complain though, the old Honda brought me to the places I needed to be. It used to bother me in the beginning when I would be teased about the bucket of junk, but after realizing that most of them didn't have a vehicle to call their own, I let the thought slip.

I gave my father a wave before making my way to the school. Another rainy day, just as gloomy to match my mood. Usually I'd pick up Bella when she needed it, but after everything going on, Charlie insisted on driving her from then on.

Like I said, more changes.

As usual, the student body hovered in the parking lot, waiting for the bell to ring as the gossiped in their groups. I parked in my regular spot before being met by Bella. For the first time she was silent, now knowing the reason as we watched Seth following Jacob inside. It was as if none of this happened and it was a bit weird.

I didn't let it bother me much, but more kept myself occupied with Bella's rambling about her father telling her that she was not to associate with any of the popular groups. It wasn't like either of us would, but it became Charlie's concern.

Thankfully my drama class was enough to distract me for at least the next month or so. Mrs. Jenkins settled on the play 'Romeo & Juliet' as she began handing out scripts for anyone to audition, of course this held out opportunities for anyone to audition in the school. Before I could set my mind on the role of Romeo, Mrs. Jenkins had asked me to assist with directing the play as well as coming up with set designs.

Not entirely sure if I was capable of doing the task, I agreed and informed her that I would try my best. Of course this meant I'd be helping with the casting as well. Like I said, it was enough to keep me occupied with what was really bothering me.

With the auditions that would be held later on in the week, I was busy helping Mrs. Jenkins go through the important scenes with which to keep and what was unforgettable enough not to mention. I only read the play once and watched the movie a couple times. It was the plot that kept everyone interested as it was. I somehow convinced Mrs. Jenkins to have the play take place in the modern days, as much as that helped, it was still difficult with making the speech techniques easier to understand, so we kept that as it was. I was in no way of translating the entire script.

After practically taking the whole day of planning and hardly paying attention to my other courses, I hadn't realized that it was time to go home –which meant that I had a little under and hour to prepare for Jacob's arrival. But at least I would have my own duties to occupy myself with set designs.

Thankfully my father was there to prepare the workplace for us as I was already into my studies at first. I wasn't exactly finished any of my other assignments, so I figured I'd get that done before Jacob showed up. Which didn't last that long with the doorbell ringing. Instead of me escorting him in, my father was already at the door welcoming the teen in with a 'hello' and asking if he could get him anything.

I paid no mind to Jacob this time. If he chose to be rude once again, at least I wouldn't be bowing to his feet when I didn't need too. It didn't take me long to finish my assignments before I pulled out my notebooks on the play with a few texts I borrowed from the library on settings in Verona, Italy. I figured if I had to modernize the play, I'd research the city's attractions.

As expected, the tutor session remained silent until Jacob grabbed his books and began packing them and walking out with so much as a thanks. It made me wonder even more if this is how the whole month was going to be, would we be forced to sit next to each other longer because he says he doesn't need my help. Why was my time being wasted if he refused to say a word? Should I say something?

The night moved on with dinner and another restless night of trying to sleep. I couldn't understand what it was about Jacob that bothered me. Why was it that I wanted some sorted of interaction, but at the same time I wanted nothing to do with him. I was conflicted and I usually could easily figure stuff like this out.

Waking up tired and somewhat exhausted, I carried on with the day like any other. Listening to Bella's rants and finally being able to see how Seth was doing. He seemed to be doing all right, and talked about auditioning for the play for the credits. I could see Seth getting a part too, he was quite the character and I was sure there would be a role for him. Though I neglected to tell him that I was a part of the casting committee.

The week was as it was. My days filled with planning and prep for auditions. My studies occupied me more than I had expected, and then the constant silent treatment from Jacob with our dragged out tutor sessions.

With Friday coming along, I had to cancel the tutor session with Jacob as well as stay home from school due to me picking up the flu. That meant I would miss the auditions as well as a few other things I was needed for. It didn't affect the process much since Mrs. Jenkins was able to find someone to fill in for me as they chose the roles.

Being sick doesn't help that much, especially dealing with more than I bargained for. But I refused to let any of it take hold on my body. I was healthy as far as I was concerned, and any diagnosis from the doctors wasn't enough to bring me down. But as of my father's request, he called a private doctor to see me on Saturday. What usually worried my father was exactly what I said it was, the flu. Surprisingly, it didn't take much to get over it as I was now back in school by the next Wednesday.

Mrs. Jenkins was more than welcoming to have me back and gave me a small update on the progress of the play. Apparently the set-list was in full effect and the wood-shop class would be putting this into their projects to help us design the few sets we needed. I was surprised to find that they had a couple callbacks for Romeo and Juliet, let alone believe that there were students who were willing to stand on the stage.

I reviewed the list she handed me and found it a bit surprising that Rosalie Hale and Alice Brandon were in the run for Juliet. But what surprised me the most was that Mike Newton was up against Jacob for the role of Romeo. Along with the list of characters that were set, I found it hard to believe that Jacob was even involved with the play.

With the day quickly passing and Bella asking me how everything was, I explained that I had been busy with a lot of things that I really had no time to really think about the tutoring. I knew she wanted to know about how Jacob was, but what could I tell her other than that he was a bit rude and unfriendly.

Instead of the usual set-up my father made, I told him that it wouldn't be necessary since Jacob hardly touched any of it. I wasn't sure when or who would be checking our progress, but I knew that it would be soon since our reports would be coming soon. That meant if Jacob hadn't been improving, I'd be held responsible.

Like clockwork, Jacob arrived with his backpack and the usual books he carried. I wasn't much of being courteous or welcoming, so I sat at my seat and began tending to my own agenda. It was then that he surprised me by asking for a drink. Though it annoyed me a

little, I went to the kitchen and brought him back a glass of water and the plate of snacks my father left on the counter.

Something about the session seemed a bit off, and I tried my best to ignore it. But as I was deep in my studies, I would catch Jacob looking in my direction before turning back to his books like he was sneaking a glance. I didn't think much of it because I didn't want to push anything that I could be over thinking. But it was him that spoke once again.

"Could you?" He cleared his throat. I looked up in confusion, "would you mind running a few lines with me?"

I stared at him for a moment, puzzled and unsure to what he just said. I was beginning o question whether I heard him right, or if I was just hallucinating. I knew that he was up for the role of Romeo, but I didn't think he'd bring the script for us to run lines. It seemed a bit farfetched to hear him speak about it. I figured he'd be a bit embarrassed to admit to me that he was auditioning in the first place.

"Umm…" I slowly closed my books, "yeah, um, sure, I guess."

He handed me his script with his lines highlighted in yellow. The book was a bit crumpled and dirty with some fingerprints noticeable on the page.

"If you could read the opposites in the first scene?" He let out a long breath. I looked at the paper before agreeing with a nod.

Once again, I came to a surprise to know that he memorized most of them. Not only that, he was rehearsing in character. I felt foolish at times to fall under his words that he spoke of love as we conversed back and forth as the main characters. Jacob sure knew how to use the words in his own way, and I was sure that there would be no one better than him to play Romeo as it was. Whoever he was up against, they would definitely need to bring their talents up front.

"Thanks." He mumbled as he continued to pack his bags. "I'll see you tomorrow." He almost sounded hopeful. I quickly nodded and escorted him out the front door.

This time was different, and I wasn't sure how to adjust to it. I guess there is a different side to Jacob that none of us know. Could that be the Jacob Seth had always told us about? Or is this just an act to get through this faster.

Instead of pondering over it more than I should, I found myself getting back into my studies before going to sleep.

The next day I was anxious for the callbacks. It wasn't as if I was to be up for a part, but a part of me was nervous for Jacob. It was he and some other guy names Mike, and I found myself actually wanting Jacob to nail the part. As per schedule, auditions took place in the small auditorium before lunch. Alice nailed the part, I was sure she would make the perfect Juliet: innocent and a hopeless romantic.

When it came to Jacob, I wasn't the only one in awe. The panel watched carefully as Jacob graced the stage with little effort. We paired him with Alice to make sure the chemistry was there, thankfully, their talents fed off of each other. They exchanged lines like professionals, as I was sure that they were born to play the parts. As awkward as I though it might be for them to be intimate in front of us, it seemed to be a breeze to them. I had to admit that I was the slightest bit jealous of their performance once they finished. For us to remain professional rather than stand to give them the applause they deserved, we dismissed them and made the final choice for the roles.

The set-list and parts were posted on the drama bulletin board at lunch. It came to a surprise to me that Seth landed the part of Romeo's best friend Mercutio as well a few of the others I hadn't expected to audition.

As everyone else seemed to crowd around, I to decided to give congrats to the cast. Seth seemed ecstatic to get the part and thanked me for my kind words. But Jacob, it was as if I was invisible once again. Without much of a nod, he left with the rest of the crowd, leaving me in an awkward spot next to the few who tried to fit in, including Bella who tried to be more sociable.

"They really are jerks." Bella muttered as she wrapped her arm around mine.

"I guess you could say that." I let out an embarrassed chuckle. "But no worries Bells, we still got each other."

"I know," she sighed, "I just want a guy friend that would be interested in me other than having the same interests I have."

"I don't think we share the same interests." I mocked acting somewhat offended.

"You know what I mean Edward." She nudged me, "is it so wrong for me to want a boyfriend?"

"No." I admitted, "but couldn't you just let them come to you. Maybe just being yourself will some day draw some handsome gentleman in."

"This isn't the forties Edward." She replied annoyed. "Nowadays a girl has to have her boobs hanging out her shirt with a skirt or shorts high enough for their ass cheeks practically hanging out. I can't compete with them."

"Then don't." I deadpanned. "Just be yourself, woman can be sexy with personality and an ego of independence. Dress to impress yourself, and maybe someone just might see how you hold yourself."

"I do," she argued. "I just don't know how to drop the rep of being known as the sheriff's daughter."

"Hey, at least you're not known as the preacher's son." I teased, "and besides, having the father's we have isn't that bad."

"I know." She let out a sigh, "I just wish that someone could see past it and was brave enough to meet me and my dad."

"They will, soon enough." I gave her a hug before leaving, "now excuse me, I have to get ready for another awkward hour of silence and redemption."

"I'll pray for you." She teased as she met her father.

As usual, I made my way home on the same route and in the same routine. I had a half-hour before Jacob would arrive and go back to his ignorant self. I was hoping that last night was a step to at least conversing without any problems, but his attitude at school clearly explained that I was above my head.

By the time Jacob had arrived, I was already at the table studying and catching up with my English, finishing a few of my essays before handing them in too late. I knew that I could at least get back to my work and catching up on the stuff I fell behind on due to the planning for the play.

But I was in for a surprise when Jacob sat across from me, handing me a copy of the script and once again asking me to run lines. This Jacob was different from the Jacob at school, I soon discovered it when he would often ask me questions in regards to the play, and how he should rehearse some the scenes he was unsure of.

The entire time he was acting as if nothing happened at the school, I was still bothered by the fact that it was ignored once again. I couldn't keep focus and I lost track of time as I realized that the hour was up. He thanked me kindly, and left with a 'see you tomorrow.' He left with a wave before driving away.

"Well that went well." My father commented, standing at the dining room threshold.

"Yeah," I muttered to myself in confusion. "I guess it did."

I closed the door and made my way to my room without further thought of just how awkward today was. I decided to test Jacob of just how friendly he really was. If it was just an act, then I wanted nothing more to do with this.

I didn't need it.

**A/N: Minor mistake in the last chapter. Dr. Cullen won't be introduced until a bit later in the fic, so I changed it to Dr. Evans for now.**

**Now, if you are reading, please leave a review. It's kind of ridiculous to be writing a story with no reviews, especially when an author does put effort into their stories. My next update will be soon once I get a little ahead again and the reviews come in, I'm sure of it.**

**Much Love,**

**TurnItUp03**


	4. Chapter 4

**D: Disclaimed**

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><p>Chapter Four<p>

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><p>As usual, Forks High remained uneventful.<p>

I parked in my usual spot and killed the engine before grabbing my bag of books and lunch. The weather matched the recent days of the week, gloomy and a bit depressing. As I walked through the hall I could hear the feint chatters from those who were supposed to be in class. Students lingered up and down the halls like zombies waiting for their next meal. Teachers vacated their classrooms, writing their last minute notes up on the boards, eagerly waiting for the bell ring; nothing changes at Forks High.

Before first period approached, the person I wanted to see before my day started happened to be in sight. Standing next to Paul and Jared, I approached Jacob reluctantly as he stared at me with discomfort, knowing that his peers were now questioning my appearance.

"I won't be able to attend our tutoring session tonight Jacob since I'll be helping with the sets for the play." He stared at me with a bit of ignorance and embarrassment, "though I can help run lines with you during lunch period if that works for you?"

"What are you talking about?" He quickly stood up and yanked me by the wrist before whispering in my ears, "I don't need anyone knowing that I run lines with, you could've told me that the tutoring session would be rescheduled in private."

"Let go of me…" I struggled from his grasp as he practically dragged me into the library, "what are you doing?"

"Do you enjoy being the center of attention?" He fumed.

"Center of attention?" I repeated confused, "what are you talking about?"

"Everyone practically already knows that you're tutoring me," He began to look back to see if we were followed. "What more do you want?"

"First of all," I seethed, "it was never my intention to be put in the middle of all of this, if it bruises your ego to be seen next to me or near me, that is not my concern. I'm only here to help you, and if you can't accept that, especially people knowing or not, than I'm wasting my time."

"You know yourself how brutal these guys can get," he stated angrily, "why put any of us in that position."

"I've already faced many of their wraths." I glared, "there's no need to remind me of the insecurities they face. Now there's no worries on your behalf, I won't bother you for another minute."

Walking away seemed easier than it was. But, I simply wasn't about to be the butt of the joke once again. I knew that after this that Paul and Jared would find some way to put this on me, and honestly, I would be prepared for it in some way. It would just be their words, not mine.

I meant it when I have faced the worst of their blows. It was no news that each of had slammed me against the lockers, or even had my head bashed against the wall. It wasn't so much as enough to hurt, but it was enough to embarrass the hell out of me. Not to mention the trips, the name-calling and the constant mistreatment. I knew what bullying was, and believe me, at times I would hate myself for it. There were times I had wished I was someone else for one day. But, I was always told to be proud of who I was.

I guess that's why I've grown more of a back bone this year too. I wasn't taking any more of their crap. I was prepared for what Emmett might have coming to me, and I was ready to fight off Jacob if I had to. So, even though it was easier to walk away…

I was furious.

What more could I say, if I had, I would regret everything. I should have known better, and now that I had proven my theories, I wasn't sure why it bothered me so damn much. It was just Jacob Black –his opinion shouldn't matter to me at any level. The more I thought of it, the more I wanted to turn back and give him a piece of my mind, but I refused to go back and embarrass myself more than I had.

Yes I did, I was embarrassed to see the smirk on both Paul and Jared's faces as I tried to talk to Jacob. I looked like the fool because Jacob wasn't man enough to push our differences aside. I hated Jacob Black, and I was sure that I despised him in some ways too.

First period had none of my attention. The teacher's monotone hissed in the background of my mind as I recalled sitting at the dining room at home, across from Jacob as I listened to him repeat the words from his script as he watched me reply the way he wanted. Or at least it was the way I hoped he hoped. The fact that the class passed quicker than I cared, I just wanted to go home and get this day over with.

By the time lunch period came along, I knew that I was for sure cancelling the tutor sessions from then on. The setup for the play was just a decoy in order to call him out, which worked. But now I was beginning to regret it and wished that I had let it be. I wouldn't be so bothered and I would be just okay with my evenings actually having a purpose other than sulking my room doing nothing.

"My dad says we can hang again." Bella approached gleefully, "I finally convinced him that we were too boring to pull a stunt like the popular kids."

"That's great." I shrugged. "Maybe movies tomorrow night or something?"

"Definitely." She replied, "but only if you tell me why you haven't touched your food or spoken a word today. I've been watching you and I'm worried."

"It's nothing really." I shrugged, "but me evenings are now free," I finally looked at her, "so we can finally go back to hanging out like we used to."

"What about Jacob?" She leaned forward clumsily, "I thought you still had your tutoring sessions?"

"Not anymore." I shrugged. "He's doing fine."

"Well that's the pits." She shrugged, "I was kind looking forward to dropping in on one of them and hoping to at least… I don't know… ask him if he's single."

"Believe me Bells," I muttered, "you dodged a bullet there."

"He couldn't have been that bad?"

"I guess it matters with one's opinion." I shrugged again, "can we change the subject now, and I'm a bit annoyed at the moment."

"Fine, fine," she giggled, "but you eventually owe me an explanation."

It's not that I care whether what Bella thought about it, I just didn't want her knowing that it upset me so much. A part of me was beginning to believe that Jacob's opinion mattered more to me than it should have. I just didn't want to admit that it might be something far more than I expected. The more I though of it, the more I realized something that I had dreaded.

I think I was crushing on the high school jock. I was digusted.

Why was I attracted to a jerk, and why did I want to go back and apologize, especially when it shouldn't be me apologizing. So why did it feel like it was my fault? Why couldn't I get him out of my mind as well?

The afternoon I hadn't seen him once, and that had even bothered me. Of course he could be avoiding me now, and I couldn't blame him either. I could only hope that the day would go by faster and the weekend would soon settle in. Thankfully it would keep me occupied with my father's social events he attended other than the Sunday mornings we attended church. He always kept himself busy and I always followed under his request.

By the time the day had ended, I said my goodbyes to Bella before promising to pick her up tomorrow night to go to the movies in Port Angeles. I decided that I would at least go home and change before I came back and decided I would actually help with the play's scene set-ups since opening was less than a week. At least that would keep me occupied from my constant bickering with my inner monologues.

After informing my father I'd be home late and my reasons, I was already on my way back to the auditorium at the school with what supplies I needed to bring. It was only right that we'd bring a food item to contribute to the group so we wouldn't need to stop and go home during dinnertime.

Things were coming by quite nicely with the backgrounds, and I was quite surprised how quickly the woodshop class had built the sets. Everything was close to painted and varnished as planned, which meant that rehearsals would be a lot easier with the backgrounds in place for the actors. Which meant I would be here all week next week now the schedules were now being made. Luckily the tutor sessions were now over.

Or at least I was the only one that had known.

By the time we finished wrapping the night up and I was ready to go home after the long day, I came to a surprise when I noticed someone standing next to my car. If I hadn't known who it was right away, I probably would have waited for someone to escort me to my car. Reluctantly, I made my way through the sliding doors and across the parking lot. I could see that he was just as confused as I was, or maybe frustrated. Either way, I had no clue why he was here.

"Did you really bail or were you serious when you said you needed to be here?" He asked as I circled him to my door. "Or did you get offended by our discussion earlier."

"Does it matter?" I muttered. "Good night Jacob."

"Wait," he held onto the door, "you can't be serious? Just because I prefer to keep my personal life separate from my school doesn't make it wrong."

"I didn't say you couldn't." I sat in my seat, "but you could've informed me that I was a secret to be kept. I don't appreciate being used."

"Used?" He smirked, "who said I was using you? It's our parents that made the arrangements, and besides, you're getting paid for it."

"Listen Jacob." I stood up and closed the door behind me, "I don't care that I have to spend my evenings helping you with whatever you need, but when I actually have things on my agenda and I prefer to inform you to reschedule rather than leave you hanging. You being embarrassed by me is not my problem, but if you can't accept my help, then I'm guessing that you no longer need my help."

"Wait! So we're done?" He asked almost offended. "My parents will kill me if I messed up again."

"Well than it looks like you need to discuss a lot of things with yourself or come up with explanations." I tried to ignore him, "I'm not going to be your secret."

"Well maybe I can make a compromise." He bargained.

"Well it's going to have be on my terms."

"And what terms are those?"

"We're going to have to switch the sessions to lunch hour from here on." I replied, "since I'll be here more after school helping with the play, we both wont have time."

"Fine." He replied with a heavy sigh, "but we're done after the play. Right?"

"It's really up to you Jacob, or your parents for that matter." I shrugged, "if they see improvement in your grades, you no longer have to see me."

"You're making me sound like an asshole at the moment," he glared; I returned the gesture. "You don't have to be snarky about it, I'm trying my best not to be the same person I was last year."

"Listen Jacob," I sighed, "I've spent a majority of my high school years defending myself by putting up this wall, and I come off as a sarcastic, inconsistent individual that becomes defensive when I feel a bit threatened. I'm sorry."

"Look." He sighed again, "I'm used of my reputation, and I apologize for singling you out in front of Paul and Jared, it's just I would never hear the end of it from them. Which is no excuse to act the way I did. I'll try my best to be more formal and less of a jerk."

It was a silence. For a moment, I could hear the crickets' chirp and the streetlights fizz as everyone began to walk out of the school and to their own vehicles. I watched Jacob, as he looked at me in question, in curiosity as I gave the same expression before shaking out of it from the muffled voices near us.

"Well are we on for tomorrow?" He asked. "Lunch in the library."

"Yeah." I agreed before getting back into the driver's seat of my car.

I watched as he hopped into his truck before turning it on and finally pulling out of the lot with the rest of the vehicles. I found myself sitting here longer than I should have, thinking more than I wanted to once again. I was exhausted, but all I could do was think of howl. All I could hear was the rain pick up as it slowly pelted against the windshield. I let out a sigh as I watched each vehicle's taillight disappear from sight before I started my car and followed.

Was there really a part of me that was into Jacob Black? As I ponder over the thoughts, he's exactly the opposite that I'd look for in a boyfriend. A self-centered jock was never reachable for a person of my type, or my gender to be specific. His ignorance was enough to disgust me on most occasions, but then again, I haven't seen him act just the same as Emmett and his half-witted idiots, which is kind of a plus. And yet, I'm speaking of terms like I had a chance, or whether I'd give him one.

There was a reason I closed myself off from society. It was bad enough my father was close to be as well as Bella, I didn't want to make friends and get close to the world when I knew how much it would hurt when I had to leave.

As the night settled in and the so did I. I quickly did my routines before making sure I had everything ready for tomorrow. I found it a bit ridiculous of how I was excited for tomorrow meet with Jacob. Would it be ridiculous to make a few guidelines before I we ended becoming friends, or should I just let him in too?

Of course that would be settled the next time I'd see him. By the time morning had come, my father had already prepared breakfast and explained how excited he was to hear that the hospital would be hiring another doctor for the emergency ward. According to my father, there were only two who had organized shifts, and that wasn't enough since the town had been growing.

My father was always eager to welcome new people to the community, so when I asked about the doctor, he told me that he was moving here from Canada, Calgary, Alberta to be exactly. Him and his wife were looking for a new place quieter and community friendly. Dr. Cullen had been well known from where he had come from, and his wife Mrs. Cullen had been teaching for the past while. For now though, she'd be by her husband's side as one of the nurses.

"Have you met them yet?" I asked my father.

"Not yet," he replied drinking his morning coffee, "but Charlie and I will be going to welcome him as he arrives to his house. Apparently his father used to live here before him and it's always been his dream to return here."

"Really?" I asked with interest, "that sounds cool. So where exactly are they moving into?"

"The abandoned manor outside of town." He stated.

"The haunted one?" I asked a bit worried.

"Edward?" He stared at me with concern; "I've known the other children around here and on the reservation to believe in such a hoax, I just didn't think you were one to follow."

"But people say that it is, after it burned, the place almost seems un-repairable." I shrugged. "Besides, the story behind it is a bit unexplainable."

"Well the house is still part of his family's inheritance, he is paying big money to some contractors to fix it up." Father explained, "and no one knows why some of the people from the reservation disagreed with them, it always remained a mystery."

"Well let's just hope his welcome is more friendly this time." I mentioned, "no one deserves to be out casted."

No one really knows the story behind the old haunted manor other than that a man used to live there alone. He normally kept to himself and sometimes helped out in the community whenever he was needed. But somewhere, something went terribly wrong. The man was being blamed for the murder of one of the children on the reservation, and the Quileute's decided to take matters into their own hands and decided to attack the old man. The house was ignited, but none were sure if the man was in there or not, just that they had hoped it was all over with.

Now some of those who claim to visit the abandoned house claim to have seen the man's spirit linger around the place. Some have claimed they've seen much worse there, some mentioned of a group of pale people fleeing the sight of one lost teenager. It seems that everyone stood clear of the place from then on. I guess until now.

"I'll be inviting him and his wife for dinner," my father spoke, "no worries for dinner preparations, I can take care of it."

I nodded. "I look forward to meeting them." I mentioned as I made my way for school.


	5. Chapter 5

**D: Disclaimed**

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><p>Chapter Five<p>

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><p>"Thanks for coming to get me." Bella took a deep breath before closing the car door and strapping on her seat belt, "my dad was going to bring me to school in his cruiser once again."<p>

"Do you really think he does it purposely?" I teased, "after all, his truck is usually parked."

"Well he promised me a car at least," she continued on as she began applying gloss on her lips while looking at her pocket mirror. "But apparently he's waiting for my mom's say still, and since she's difficult to contact, you're stuck being my chauffeur."

"When did you start wearing make-up?" I questioned with a smirk, now pulling out of her driveway. "It sort of suits you."

"Is that you saying I look pretty Edward?" She giggled, "If we weren't such close of friends, then maybe I would have had the courage to ask you out."

"Not happening, Isabella." I chuckled as we continued through the intersection. "Besides, I don't think you're my type."

"What is your type anyways?" She asks nonchalantly, "I've never seen any girl in the school that interests…" She paused for a moment to look at me, "wait…"

"Just drop it Bell's…" I shrugged it off turning into the school parking lot.

"No wait…" she shuffled through her things for a moment, "you can tell me Eddy, I won't say a think or judge."

"What are you talking about?" I gave her a quizzical look.

"You know…" she paused for a moment, biting her lip in thought, "I mean… I'm sure of it now." She grabbed my arm before I could get out of the car, "Edward? Are you gay?"

And to think, this wasn't the worst of the news I'd need to break to her. I really didn't want anyone knowing much about my life, and at times I wish Bella wasn't so pushy.

"Have you always been suspicious?" I seethed a little; more so annoyed than anything.

"No!" She said defensively, "I was just wondering now, your sexuality has never been my business at any point in our friendship, but if you are, don't you think I deserve to know at some point, after all, I am your best friend."

I sat for a moment, deep in thought, wondering really if it would be best if I admitted or not. I didn't want her to exaggerate everything, but then again, Bella has always been there for me no matter the circumstances.

"Yeah." I mumbled. "I think I am."

"Your secret's safe with me." She leaned in to hug me, "I'll be here until you're ready to tell any one else."

I gave her a fake smile before following her across the parking lot. The thing was, I didn't want anyone knowing, and I was beginning to think that now Bella knew, she'd make it her mission to find the only other gay guy in Forks for me to date. And if anyone else found out, I would be singled out even more, and my dad would catch a lot of flak for it too. Today's society, well at least the people around here are not ready to accept someone like me.

Maybe that's why my time is limited.

I dragged my pace down the hall, Bella still chattering about anything and everything as I stared blankly into my locker, pretending to shuffle through my things to find something.

"Hey guys!" I recognized that cheerful voice anywhere.

"Seth!" Both of us greeted him.

"It's great to see you finally." I admitted, "you had us all worried."

"I know," he chuckled, digging his hands in his pockets, "I'm here though," he shrugs as if it was nothing, "so what did I miss?"

"Nothing really," Bella replied as I grabbed my books and followed the pair, "it's great to hear that you're in the play."

"I didn't think I would," he chuckled, "but thanks to Eddie here…"

"Hey, you did that on your own." I admitted, "You really have talent Seth."

"Don't I know it?" He bragged, "Which is why I need to ask you a favor." He addressed Bella.

"Shoot."

"Well, Jake said that Edward's been a lot of help with running his lines," he spoke nervously, "and I was wondering if you were available to help me run my lines?"

"I could try." Bella shrugged.

"Great!" He grinned widely, "I'll meet you at the library at lunch."

Just like that, he was gone in a flash and Bella was left a bit stunned. I knew Seth thought a bit more of this than Bella had, but at least he had found some sort of comfort in spending time with Bella.

"Did he just ask me to run lines?" She stared blankly.

"It's not a date." I teased as we made our way to class.

"It almost seems as if was asking me." She mumbled to herself, "I don't know if we share the same feelings."

"Bells?" I chuckled, "you're kind of putting him on the spot here."

"You're right," she giggled. "Just friends right?"

I wasn't sure if she needed my assurance, but I wasn't about to ruin any possibilities. If they were meant to be, then I'd let them play it out as it was. At least Seth would be enough to keep her occupied when the time was needed.

By the time the lunch bell rang, I was already exhausted with my schedule. Thankfully, since the incident with Emmett, nothing really happened since. I was beginning to think that what happened with Seth, opened their eyes somewhat. Or at least I had hoped.

Then there was the other thing on my mind, and that was the fact that I finally realized what Seth had admitted. Running lines with Jacob was helping him in some way. It really made me wonder if all of it was true or not. Could Jacob be that appreciative, or was it just something he said to help Seth find a way to talk to Bella. Either way, I was confused.

This time I followed Bella as if I had no route of my own. When she lined up in the cafeteria, I stared blankly ahead in a daze she talked about how different things had gone since Seth had come back. Though I barely spent time with him, I was beginning to see that he was a bit more spontaneous than I remembered.

But I think it was the near-death experience that probably triggered it. Maybe he vowed to live each day as if it was his last. Maybe I could take a lesson from him rather than shutting everyone out like I had planned. Of course Seth had become a friend to me, but what if Jacob does. I don't want to end up building a big social circle when my days are never promised for me.

"Are you almost finished?" I shook my head out of daze as Bella began to pack her bag, "I don't want to go alone on this."

"Yeah," I murmured and grabbed my things.

The walk to the library seemed longer than the usual, maybe it was because I was dragging my pace to get there, or maybe it was the fact that I knew I'd be spending the rest of my lunch hours with Jacob until the play was over… and maybe after that. I was never sure; I never knew his progress in school either, whether he was passing now or what. A part of me wanted to know.

Seth pulled Bella aside as they sat across the library, I found Jacob on the other side in the corner at the round table. Like a robot, I found myself sitting across from him as he handed me his script. There were more scribbled notes on it with more things highlighted on the sides. I knew then that he was pretty serious with his role and was taking notes on a lot of things.

I found myself distracted once again. He seemed to get in touch with his character even more, and him actually reciting the lines to me, had me believing that he was saying those exact words to me. I felt… appreciated with every word spoken. It sure made it easier for me to run the lines as well, and maybe I was getting a bit into character than I had intended. I just hope he hadn't noticed.

"I really do appreciate that you're doing this Edward." Jacob interrupted.

I paused for a moment, caught off guard, so I nodded, "yeah, I know."

"I've tried with Alice a couple times, but she always seems busy hanging with her boyfriend that I don't think Jasper is too pleased about all of this." He admitted, "I was beginning to regret even auditioning for this, but you're actually making it tolerable." He chuckled.

I smiled. "Well, I'm glad I can help."

"Listen Edward…" He shifted nervously, running his hand through his dark hair, "I was wondering if we could hang out later… I mean, I was supposed to meet a few of the others at the movies, but they bailed. Seeing how I had already bought my ticket, I don't really feel like going alone."

"What about Seth?" I asked, watching the pair across the room laugh.

"He said he couldn't because of everything…" He shrugged, "look, if you can't, I understand."

"No, umm…" I paused for a moment, unsure if this was the right decision, "I'll be there."

"Great." He smiled, "do you need me to pick you up, or should I meet you there?"

"I'll meet you there." I replied.

After our meet up, I was still unsure if agreeing to go was the best for me. I haven't' been to the best of my health lately, and now my father was beginning to worry. It was him that suggested I listen to the doctor's orders to start taking things more seriously. I just didn't know how to accept what they were telling me.

The symptoms were minor, nearly invisible, but that didn't mean I still wasn't sick.

I just didn't want to face the pain, especially seeing my father go through this once again, just to see me leave him eventually. To see my mom go through it, to face the same fate; it scared me.

With everything beginning to bother me, the rest of the after noon went by faster than I had expected. Before I knew it, I was already driving home with everything still on my mind. Yet, I still managed to get home without messing that up. I just couldn't imagine that I would be bothered so much now. It was never this intense, and now my head was beginning to hurt.

"Are you okay son?" I shook my head, staring at my dad with a daze, "you don't look that well."

"I'm fine father." I half-smiled reaching the top of the stairs, "I think I just need to relax."

"Maybe I should cancel dinner then." He muttered.

"We have guests?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Cullen." He said as he followed me.

"No it's fine dad," I assured him, "I'll just get changed and join you guys in moment."

"Alright," he smiled still concerned, "but the moment you begin to feel woozy, I'm sending you bed."

I understood how much my father cared, it's just I wish at moments, he hadn't. There was more guilt on my behalf that I was putting him through the same predicament as my mother, but what could I do. I didn't want to be forced stay in bed all of the time. And now, I was taking risks. I was meeting with Jacob later and I still needed to inform my dad about it. I figured if I met the Cullens, I'd please my father and he'd permit me to go with Jacob for a while.

As I made my way down the stairs nervously, I could hear the low voices. I recognized my fathers, and soon caught on who was Mr. Cullen, then Mrs. Cullen. I took a deep breath and adjusted my collar before entering the kitchen.

"Son?" My father spoke, I nodded. "Carilse?" The man looked my way, "Esme?" than the woman, "this is my son, Edward Masen."

"So wonderful to meet you." The woman stood and approached me. Everything about the woman was beautiful, her light brown hair, her pale skin, and her tantalizing honey colored eyes. I halted a breath at her beauty. And her husband was no different. "You're father has told us so much about you."

"It's a pleasure son." Carlisle followed his wife, now staring at me with concern.

As I shook their hands, I noticed how cold they were, both as if they had the chills. They acted as if it was normal for them. Which I guess was.

"So you're father tells us that you are running the school play along with your teacher this year?" Esme continued as she sat back in her spot. I nodded. "Romeo & Juliet?"

"Yes." I cleared my throat, "a bit modernized."

"Interesting…" she smiled. "How so?"

"Umm…"

"Darling," Carlisle interrupted with a chuckle, "you're making the poor boy nervous."

"Oh, I'm sorry dear," the woman giggled.

"It's fine," I smiled. "We just changed the differences in the language and brought it closer to today… I guess it's the best way to explain it."

"When do they begin selling tickets?" She asked eagerly.

"November, a week before opening night." I explained, "it'll run for two weeks."

The conversation from there steered towards Mr. Cullen and his work and how he and Mrs. Cullen have traveled until they had finally found a place to call home. He had always wanted to move back to his grandfather's estate, but due to some recent financial problems, he wasn't able to do it until now. It has always been both of their dreams to move here and finally start a family, admitting they have been looking into adoption.

They were a bit open with their lives and had become well acquainted. Me, I was a bit nervous around the pair still.

"Excuse me," I interrupted, "I don't mean to be rude, but I promised my friend Jacob that I would meet him for a movie in a half hour."

"There's no tutor session tonight?" My father questioned.

"No dad," I replied, "we worked through lunch together and figured we'd take the night off to something fun."

"That's good." He actually smiled, "I'm sure you and Jacob will make great friends."

"It was nice meeting you Mr. and Mrs. Cullen," I nodded once again before leaving.

After putting my dish in the dishwasher, I raced upstairs to change into something more comfortable. I wasn't sure what would be suitable. What do you wear to an outing with a… friend? What exactly was this? It couldn't be a date, he had already asked Seth before me, and so was this just a hangout thing? If so, what the heck do you wear to something like this?

Rather than procrastinating and being late, I settled on a t-shirt with jeans and one of my leather jackets –something I rarely wore. I made my way downstairs and out the door until I was un-expectantly called aside by Mr. Cullen. He called me from the door and approached me with concern written on his face.

"Edward?" He seemed bothered, "I don't mean to pry, but is everything okay… with you."

"Umm…" I stared at him puzzled, unsure of how to reply, "yeah… I believe so."

"I just want you to know," he looked back to see my father and his wife, "that If you ever need to talk to me, please do."

"Okay." It was bit unsettled with by the way he was offering, like he was a bit suspicious, or my father had called upon him. "Thank you Mr. Cullen."

"Have a great evening Edward," he greeted as he went back into the house, leaving me confused.

I was driving to Port Angeles by then, thinking about what Mr. Cullen really meant by needing his help. Help with what? Why did it all of the sudden feel as if my father had known the couple longer than I had expected. Were they old friends being reacquainted? Father hadn't really mentioned anything about them unless he didn't want to.

I couldn't make any sense of it.

By the time I reached Port Angeles, I found myself to be a couple minutes late as I pulled in the parking lot. There were hardly any available spaces and I could see the last of the people going into the building. But I recognized the silhouette standing near the entrance.

I had to admit that my nerves were beginning to set in now, I was a bit giddy to be honest, and I was beginning to think that maybe this was all a mistake waiting to happen. But I continued my way to meet him as he waited with his hands in his pockets.

"Sorry I'm a bit late." I apologized, "I'll just grab my ticket and we can be on our way."

"No need," he held up a ticket for me, "my treat."

"Are you sure?" I asked a bit skeptical. "I can pay you back."

"Not a problem," he began leading me into the building, "after all, I asked you."

I offered to pay for the drinks and snacks as well, but he seemed keen on that too, and now I was beginning to question what kind of meet this really was. I tried steering away from it, but it really made me wonder of this was some sort of date. Most would believe that I was overthinking a lot of it, but I couldn't help it. Something felt a bit off.

I remained silent as we entered the theater with a drink in hand and a bag of candy in the other while he held his drink and the popcorn. The thing was, he hadn't asked if we could share but more insisted that we do. I was really confused by then, but made the effort by letting it all slide. It was just an outing between two friends I kept telling myself.

Now the movie wasn't to my liking or my genre. I wasn't into the flesh-eating zombies that spread the gore all over the screen. I felt bad that he was enjoying the flick and all I wanted to do was turn away and throw up my dinner. I tolerated most of it, but after about the hundredth time watching some ugly creature practically pulverizing an innocent teen, I had to excuse myself and raced to the bathroom, sure I was going to vomit. Un-expectantly, he followed.

I was in the stall for a couple minutes before I could hear the light knock on the door.

"Are you okay Edward?" I could hear him ask with a chuckle.

"I'm fine," I answered dryly. I wiped my mouth with my hand and walked out the stall past him and straight to the sink to rinse what I couldn't spit out. "There's a reason I wouldn't become the doctor my father wanted to be."

"I bet." He chuckled again, handing me handful of paper towel. "Sorry about that though, I didn't think it would be that bad otherwise I would've suggested we see something else."

"I thought I could handle it," I admitted, "after all I wasn't the one who paid for it."

"Here's some water," he handed me his water bottle, "I'm sure you mouth is running dry."

"Thanks," I said as politely as I could.

"Listen," He leaned against the counter, "we can skip out on the rest of the movie and just head to the 24 hour diner I saw down the street."

"Umm…" I paused in thought, "I couldn't."

"No, no," he began gathering our things, "I'm sure you're probably wanting something to settle your stomach a little."

As much as I wanted to tell him that I probably should be heading home, I just didn't know how to. "Yeah I guess, but we can't be too long."

He seemed satisfied with my response and promised to follow me in his car to the diner. It didn't look like there was much people were left at the diner, and the clock was reaching eight-thirty, and I was sure that my dad wanted me home by eleven at least, so I had a little time.

We found a seat in the nearest booth where the waitress in what looked to be in her early thirties came to take out order. I was surprised to see that Jacob was still hungry just as he ordered their biggest burger, and yet I could only settle for a BLT and a orange juice.

"Now this one is on me." I informed him. "It's the least I could do for sort of ruining the movie."

He laughed, "I'm okay with that, even though I could still cover it."

"I got it." I smiled, actually content of the place, "so, what kind of person can make a movie with such… gore?"

He laughed again, "I've always liked movies with such intensities, I guess not everyone can stomach things like that. I have to admit that I have an obsession with Zombie movies."

"Well, I'm just glad that they're ONLY in the movies." I admitted with a chuckle, "I don't think I could handle any of the chaos."

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I think I'd make a good Zombie hunter, after all, my dad and my uncles had taught me and my cousins how to hunt."

"What do you hunt?"

"Deer usually." He shrugged, "my dad can make a deadly deer steak that you're going to have to try one day."

"I've never had deer." I admitted, "I'll have to hold you on that one day."

"Well maybe you should come to one of the bonfires on the rez one day." He shrugged, "I'm sure Seth would want you to bring Bella."

"Yeah." I giggled nervously.

The food had finally arrived and I couldn't believe how easily Jacob ate through his burger. By the time I finished my sandwich, he had already finished his meal. The conversation led to Bella actually and me telling him how she actually had a crush on him.

"She makes it a bit obvious." He chuckled. "I sort of figured that out the day I had met her, unfortunately, I don't think she's my type."

"I see." I muttered to myself. "Well, I probably should be heading home before my dad starts calling my phone every ten minutes until I get home."

"Yeah." He muttered as he followed me.

I paid for the food and used the restroom before we left. I was feeling a little guilty about telling one of Bella's secrets, but I thought I might be helping her out a little. I just didn't think that it would turn around on me. I'm guessing girls like Leah and Rosalie were his type, and I just can't see Bella turning into that type of girl. If so, I don't think we'd be friends anymore.

Surprisingly Jacob was waiting for me as he practically escorted me out to my car. I figured we'd say goodbye and go our own ways, but he followed me to my car.

"Listen, Edward?" I stopped where I was, next to my car as I turned to him a bit nervous, "I want to thank you again for coming, and I hope that we can do this again."

"Umm, I guess…" I muttered, not sure how to respond, "what exactly was this?"

"Well," he shifted uncomfortably, "I wasn't sure in the beginning, but I found out something that I would have never expected." I was sure I was hallucinating now as he began to move in closer "I don't really know how to say this," I could feel his breath close to my cheek as he spoke the words, "and the only way I could really think of how to tell you is to… show you."

My breath halted for what felt like minutes; but seconds as I felt his lips graze mine. I panicked and turned away in embarrassment, "I really should go."

"Wait!" He pushed his hand on the car door, "I didn't mean to startle you, I just…"

"It's not that." I turned to see him looking at me with intent, "I'm just not sure if you're ready to make this mistake."

"Mistake?" He pulled back a little, "I see."

"I didn't mean it that way." I admitted, "I just don't want this to end up with regrets."

"Yeah," he muttered to himself as he put one hand in his pocket and the other on his face as he squeezed his cheeks, "we better call this a night." He chuckled before fleeing to his truck. Then turned, "I'll follow you home to make sure you get there safely."

I nodded a bit confused. Did I just screw this friendship up? I was sure from then on, everything was going to turn a bit awkward. I kept thinking of the worst. A part of me was glad with what I did, I promised myself I wouldn't make any more friends; let alone fall in love with someone. But then, I was upset that I turned away possibly one of my only chances at finding love. In some way.

The thoughts remained on my mind the entire ride home. My insecurities were starting to get the best of me, and I started thinking that just maybe he felt some sort of pity for me, but then, why would he lean in to kiss me?

By the time I had reached the house, Jacob was already driving off honking his horn, keeping to his word by following me home then disappearing out of sight as he made his way home.

I wanted to say that tonight had some sort of success, but it may have made things worse.

All I could do was pray for the best.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: At first, I want to say that this fic is written in no way to offend anyone. This remains as it is: Fiction. Just know, it does sort of follow the histories of what happens in the original series with Edward. It's hard to explain, but for now, I hope you soon understand what I am talking about.**

**D: Disclaimed  
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><p>Chapter Six<p>

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><p>My father wasn't too pleased to find out that I was out later than we both expected. But after I arrived home, it seemed to be the least of his worries when he realized I was lagging in speed. I hadn't really noticed until now that I was beginning to feel a bit sore, and that of coarse worried him to no end. He ordered me to my bed while he decided to stay and watch over me, most likely hoping to get details about the night.<p>

I didn't say much, and neither did he.

I wasn't sure what time my dad had left me alone, but I was wide awake by eight only to be told that I was to remain in bed for the day under Dr. Cullen's orders. I was sure then that Dr. Cullen knew everything about what was going on, and something tells me that my father went over me and was beginning to seek out the medical help that I most likely needed. The problem was, I didn't want it still.

It was another thing that plagued my thoughts as I sat at the bench window, wondering a lot about what really was in store for me. If things were getting worse for me health-wise, than I was sure that I had made the right decision by pushing Jacob away. Whatever was ahead of me, I had to prepare for if my father would begin to force me to take treatments just to keep me alive. The question was really, would he force me to go against my will? Should I fight for what seem to be a hopeless journey? It seemed that I would just follow in my mother's footsteps, could I be the survivor she wanted me to be?

I do wonder how life would be if I survive this, would someone like Jacob be waiting for me? Or would I be deemed into loneliness while I watch him and the rest of my friends live on with their lives while I hold back for a couple years just to make sure that I take it easy.

I hated these thoughts.

Because now all I could think of now is what had happened last night. As much as I try to deny what could have taken place, I had to admit that I was close to kissing Jacob Black, and I wasn't sure how the outcome would have been if I had let him. Was he high on the moment he had forgotten exactly whom he was with? Or did he really mean every notion of it?

I could remember the feeling of his lips grazing my cheek, close to my lips as I turned quickly letting my nerves get the best of me. I was sure that this would be the last of it now that he was most likely putting the whole night aside like it never had happened. Would our next encounter be awkward, or would we brave enough to at least discuss it like civil beings?

Now that I am being forced to stay home, I couldn't exactly tell him that I wasn't running from him in any way. I wanted to hold onto something, but now I could only think of the dangers of it. I would love to have another friend, but even so, I didn't want to build my social circles when I wasn't sure I'd be here long enough to keep them intact.

Like I said, I could see the affects of loving someone just to have him or her taken from you. My father and I are still grieving, and so are my mom's friends that she had left behind. Of course they still check on us, but I can see how much it hurts them to see that she is no longer her to greet them as soon as they arrive.

What was I going to do with Bella? She would be crushed and I wouldn't be there to hold her up like I would always do. Was it so wrong for me to think of the worst of it? I did feel guilty at some points. It did feel like I was giving up already without a fight, but most of the time it didn't turn out as well as most had hoped in my family. I kind of hoped that dad was right when he was sure that I would be the one to conquer this. He at least deserved it just as much as I felt I did.

"How are you feeling son?" I turned to see my father standing at the door in concern.

"Better." I admitted, "just a little tired is all."

"Well you better rest." He moved forward and began to help me to my bed, though I didn't really need the assistance, he felt he was needed.

"Dad?" I called him before he left the room, "does Mr. and Mrs. Cullen know of my conditions now?"

He stood at the door still, letting out a sigh before turning to me, "yeah." He paused before coming to sit next to me on the bed, "but it wasn't me that had mentioned it to them, they sort of figured it out before I could say anything."

"But how?" I wondered.

"Who knows," he shrugged, "sometimes healers like him can easily pick up on things like this, which is why he has offered his help."

"Did he suggest the treatments?" I asked a bit worried.

"No," he sighed again, "but he has informed me to make sure that you continue to take care of yourself the way you have been, but eventually, you may have to begin your treatments."

"I understand." I sighed too, "but can you ask Dr. Cullen to keep this between us, I just don't want anyone knowing what is going on."

"I will, and I promise." He replied as he kissed my forehead. "I love you son, now get some rest."

It didn't take much to doze off and end up in dreamland. Though the dreams were far from what I could imagine, or so I thought. It began with me, and the life I do have, just living. Bella and Seth being a part of it, and even Jacob in some way. All ending up with that moment between Jacob and I, but this time we really did kiss.

I let him kiss me and I loved every moment of it, and I believe he had.

Just like the vision fast-forwarding to us ending up in school, my hand in his as the others stared in shock. They knew, the whole student body, and as I looked at Jacob, he seemed to smile as he pulled me in closer. It was different. But I didn't pull away, nor did I seem to care as we both seemed to be content in each others presence.

But I was still sick, and now they all knew. Jacob knew. Now he was sitting next to me on a hospital bed in tears with his hand grazing my cheek, wiping the tears that seemed to fall down mine. It was just we as he now pulled up next to me as he held onto me, and all I could feel was my heart sinking in that moment. This is exactly what I didn't want, someone to grieve over me before I had left.

Like a blurred vision moving forward again, I was now walking down the hall hand in hand with Jacob with what looked as an oxygen tank connected to be as it strolled behind us. I was sloppily dressed in what looked like Jacob's clothes as he led me out the hospital doors. I wasn't sure where we were going, but I was just happy to be next to him.

But what I had hoped to turn out for the best, only seemed to fade as I watch Jacob's face fade with the memories. The last thing I could really remember was the tears that heavily fell down his cheeks as he begged for me to come back to him.

That's when I bolted forward in bed, drenched in sweat and heavy with breaths, now crying as I just realized that it was all a dream. I could only hope that it was just a dream. I wanted my reality to be nowhere close what I just had envisioned it. It was far to frightening to accept such a fate, especially for someone like Jacob. Even though I hardly knew him, it seemed as if we had fallen deeper.

"Edward?" My father raced to the door and by my side, "what's wrong?"

"I don't know…" I admitted as I tried to calm myself, "it was a horrible nightmare."

"You'll be fine son," he began to rock us back and forth as he held me, "I'm here, no need to worry."

"I don't know what to do anymore dad." I admitted, crying out for some sort of answer.

"We'll get through this," he shushed me, "we always do."

"What if we don't this time?" I asked worried, "I don't want to hurt you or anyone else."

"You wont' be son," He hugged me tighter, "don't ever think that way, we'll find a way."

I didn't want to make things worse because I already knew that even mentioning this was shaking my father up a bit. It was selfish for me to mention it, but I just couldn't stop worrying about it. I had to stand strong for him at least.

"I'm sorry dad." I wiped my tears and used the tissue he handed me, "I didn't mean to worry me."

"Hey now, hey now, no need to apologize," he began to wipe the tears from my cheeks, "you're only human. It's okay to cry rather than hold it in all of the time."

"I just get so angry and hurt…" I admitted.

"We all do son," he continued, "It's a part of life really."

"And scared?" I looked up at him.

"Definitely scared," he admitted, "we all get scared now and then."

He spent a couple hours comforting me, and I had to admit that talking to him about it was a relief in some way. Just to let what I was holding in: out. I was a bit more aware of exactly how he felt too, and that I wasn't the only one worried, perhaps he was more worried than I had been.

It began to think about things a lot more, especially the treatments. If Dr. Cullen were able to step in to help us, than maybe I would agree to it when the time had come. I just had to make sure that I wasn't too late with my decisions.

One thing was for sure, I had made the decision that I would speak to Jacob when the time came and explain to him that I wasn't really in any form to make any friends. I wasn't about to put him in the same boat with Bella and Seth if I could help it; I just hope he'd understand if what he had felt was legitimate. Which would probably mean that it would take a lot of effort to avoid him in any way, and that in time, he would understand that I was doing this all for a reason.

The next morning I had to convince my dad that I was healthy enough to return to school since he's been watching me carefully. Though I was still unsure about going back without having to talk to Jacob in some way and convincing him that we couldn't even be friends anymore. Or maybe he'd do me the favor and tell me that we were never friends, that it was just all one big mistake. Maybe breaking me would be easier than me having to push him away.

Even though Bella asked me about whereabouts from the day before, I continued to zone out with little focus on the road or ahead of us. I barely heard her tell me that even Jacob asked where I was. I didn't think anyone would notice my absence other than her. Now I was sure that Jacob probably wanted to talk about what had almost happened. I was sure that he regretted by now.

I sat through the entire first class thinking about it. His social circle consisted of ignorant, annoying jocks such as Emmett and Paul, and the prissy girlfriends that stuck by their side just to show the less popular girls that they were better in some way. Where does that put me really? Jacob would never jeopardize his status, especially for someone like me. That kind of thing only happens in those sappy romance movies that shouldn't probably exist.

By the time lunch had come, I almost forgotten about he tutor session. I hadn't really spoken all day, and I was now sure that Bella and Seth knew, thankfully they didn't question it. I just followed silently as we made our way to the library. Thankfully, I was the first to arrive at the table, so I decided I would catch up a little on the work I had missed.

Ten minutes later Jacob came in with his backpack slung over his left shoulder and his shades hung on the collar of his V-neck shirt. He didn't look up until he finally sat at the table. I expected something, but nothing. He handed me the script and began reciting the last scene. As much as I wanted to say something other than what was written in front of me, I recited the words like a zombie, looking to Bella and Seth once and a while as they seemed to be enjoying their session.

"Listen…" Jacob interrupted me during my line, I stopped to clear my throat and look up at him, as he seemed frustrated. "Can we talk about the elephant in the room?"

I stopped what I was doing and closed the script in front of me; giving a small nod as he shuffled in his chair.

"I was kind of hoping you would say something." He said as he waited for some sort of response from me, but I couldn't find it in myself to say a word. "I guess I should apologize. I'm sorry."

"For the night, or what might have happened?" I couldn't even say it.

"You can't even say it, can you?" He seemed frustrated.

"I'm still trying to gather exactly what had happened." I admitted with a slight shrug.

"The kiss, or lack thereof." He leaned forward and whispered, "I'm sorry if I had taken all of it wrong, or if I gave you the wrong vibes… or if I had mistaken the entire thing."

"I spent that whole night thinking what it was." I admitted, "I though it was just a friendly meet."

"It was supposed to be." He said as he sat back in his chair, staring at nothing, "but something happened… I wanted to be friends. I wanted to have a friend that talked about something other than football or video games; I just didn't expect to lean closer into it. I want to say that it meant nothing, but then I'm sure I'd be lying to the both of us."

"I wanted a friendship too," I admitted, "but the kiss… or what I was sure was going to happen, I just couldn't do it and have us regret it."

"So you do regret it?" He leaned forward and connected his hands together in front of him.

"Not for any unnecessary terms," I admitted, "it's something entirely different."

"Then what is it?" He asked. "I can take it."

"First of all," I pulled the conversation back a bit, "if it was meant what it was meant to be, where exactly would it go? What would've been the next step? How far were you willing to go until this went public?"

"I don't know," he muttered again, "I just know that what happened that night, was something entirely different than I expected. I wasn't going that night to do what we did, but being around you made me… want to be different."

"Well can I ask you the question that seems to be avoided?" He nodded. "Are you gay?"

He shrugged, "I wouldn't really say I was, but then… I began questioning it myself. I mean, damn. You're a dude Edward, and I can't find it in myself to blame you. You've shown me gratitude when I didn't deserve it. "

"I was only being polite." I replied simply.

"You didn't have to be, but you did." He let out a deep sigh, "and I began to appreciate it all without feeling like I had to admit it to you. When I asked you to the movies, it went further than I had expected it. But it felt right in some way."

"Listen Jacob," I interrupted, "I can't."

"You can't what?" He leaned forward again, "you can't be friends? You can't take this? What is it?"

"I can't do this?" I admitted, "I can't put myself in a predicament that could hurt us both in the end."

"What makes you think that we'd get hurt?" He asked, "sure in time, if I we were ever to move further and tell the others, it might be a bit scary."

"You want to tell them?" I asked puzzled.

"I don't know what I want right now Edward." He replied upset, "we're only teenagers and the part that scares me the most is how fast my emotions had changed. I've never felt this way before."

"Neither have I."

"So do you feel the same way?"

"Partly." I admitted. "I don't know how I feel Jacob."

"Well can't we just let this go as it is? Let it play out." For the first time he shifted forward and placed his hand on mine. "We keep it a secret for now until we're both ready."

"Jacob," I sat in silence, slowly pulling my hand from his. "We can't, it's not right."

Before he could respond, I stood up quickly and made my escape for the exit, leaving him frozen in his spot as I made my way to the parking lot and to my car. I wasn't sure where I was going, but I knew I needed air. Everything I had hoped for didn't happen. Jacob, he admitted that he had feelings for me and I just turned away. Like a coward and I was beginning to hate myself for it, but I couldn't put him through something I wasn't able to cope with.

This just wasn't fair.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Once again, this fic is no way means to offend anyone, and I've debated on writing this because of it. So I figured, the closest thing Edward's sickness is to is leukemia, though I didn't want to label it because I know I'm a bit off with some of the info. I know some have recovered (remission) but in order for the story to play out, this is how the story goes. **

**D: Disclaimed**

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><p>Chapter Seven<p>

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><p>I swear I put in every effort.<p>

But he was so persuasive, and a bit annoying. My father was even beginning to hate answering the door and having to continue lying for me. I was sure he'd be okay with telling Jacob to leave me alone, but he began to feel guilty whenever Jacob would come by asking for an explanation that was better than the one I gave to him. But I never knew what to say. We were only able to hold off for a week before my father decided to let Jacob in, meaning I owed him a better explanation.

"I don't want him to know dad." I shut the door behind him, whispering loudly. "He doesn't need to know."

"Edward, son," He pulled me aside, "before I would agree with you, but the past couple months spent with him has formed some sort of bond between the two of you that only you can't seem to see. He at least deserves some sort of proper break up."

"But we're not together," I muttered, "I told him that we couldn't go any further than what we were, I shouldn't have to explain anything."

"You owe him some sort of explanation," he opened the door, "all I'm asking son is that you at least give yourself some sort of hope, and if it's that boy down there that can help a little, than I'm open to it."

He closed the door and left me to my thoughts, and frankly, I hated it. But I didn't know what I could tell Jacob, or what would be appropriate at the moment. This was all new to me, and I just wanted to go downstairs and tell Jacob to leave because he didn't know what he wanted. But it felt more like I was unsure what I wanted. At least he was here trying to find definition.

I took a deep breath before making my way downstairs. Whether it is something that's out of proportion, or without questions. I still wasn't going to tell him about my problem, it didn't need to become his.

My footsteps were heavy once again. It felt as if I was dragging weights or dumbbells around my ankles. And yet, I was exaggerating to avoid the real problem I should be facing, the one sitting in my living room patiently waiting. I can only imagine just how impatient he was probably getting with me. Or if that he even cared. I was sure of it, why else wouldn't he be here?

"Edward?" I stopped at the bottom of the steps for him to approach me.

The encounter was awkward for the both of us. I was willing to shake hands, but he was leaning in for the hug that I didn't know how to return. It was him that kept rambling on about anything and everything I hadn't heard a thing he said. Until he asked me if I was okay.

"Yeah," I met his gaze, "of course."

"Cause you have us all fooled." He said unsure, "I even asked Bella what the situation was, but you even stopped talking to her and Seth like you used to. If it was something I did, just tell me and I'll go."

"I already told you what I felt." I admitted, a bit harsh, "we can't be friends, you can't fall in love with me, no one can."

"Whoa, whoa…" he chuckled in embarrassment. "Who said I was falling in love."

"Don't they all?" I asked a bit annoyed, now glaring out the window.

"No," he admitted, "I just wanted to try this, us, out. I wasn't forcing anything upon you; I just wanted a plausible answer to why all of the sudden we can't even be friends. None of this is making sense."

"It's because every friend I make, leaves me." I replied frustrated, "especially the ones I love. I can't take it; I'd rather push you guys away than me going through the same thing. It's too much."

"But you can't know unless you try." He argued, "that's a bit unfair to us when you put us in that category. I meant when I said that I hadn't met anyone like you."

"It's because you've never been a friend with a nerd." I pointed out viciously.

"That's not fair." He fended, "I was always put in this rank, I didn't ask for it, hell I've tried it before, being friends with those out of my social circle, but it just doesn't work because every time I do, I get pushed away because I'm automatically thought of as an asshole."

"I didn't say you were an asshole." I replied.

"But you sure implied it more than once." He sighed in defeat, "but you didn't give up on me, and I am so damn thankful for that. For once I just wanted to have a conversation that didn't involve degrading women or making it to the next game. Conversations with you were normal, and I enjoyed them. I just didn't think I'd fall for you. For one, I never really defined my sexuality other than being straight, hell I dated a couple of the cheerleaders, but they were boring and a bit too much to my likings."

"Are you still unsure?" I asked.

"Are you?" He asked, I shook my head. "A little I'll admit, but the better part of me won because I wouldn't be here if I hadn't." He paused for a moment then came to sit next to me, "Listen Edward, all I'm asking is for a friend, if you see it go any further, than okay, I'm okay with that."

"It can't." I pulled away with guilt. "I can't. I told you. If you want to be friends, I really don't have a choice, but with it are consequences."

"Like what?" He stared at me with worry.

"It's nothing," I stood up, hoping for him to drop the subject.

"No, like what? What is it?" He asked concerned, "there's something you're not telling me, not telling us."

"Listen Jake," I said frustrated, "I get it, I said what I needed to say, what I wanted to say. But I really meant what I said, I don't want any friends because I don't know how to keep them."

"Then maybe I should just walk away while I still can." He muttered angrily.

"I think you should." I didn't bother looking in his direction.

"Edward?" I finally looked his way, "if you keep pushing everyone away, then who's going to be there when you need a hero?"

I didn't want a hero. Someone once said that heroes always fall, I just needed the strength given to me and a miracle along with it. I didn't want pity nor did I was to be the reason for anyone's tears, and yet, I was failing miserably at avoiding both.

The rest of the week I had more than enough time for script adjustments as well as finalizing costume designs. The set had been finished as well as the floor set-up. I was pleased to see that everyone knew their duties as well as their positions that I definitely knew we were ready for opening night. Except for one thing. Jacob.

I had no clue if he was still putting the same effort into his role or if he was able to find rehearsal time as it was. I probably could have been a little lighter on the whole approach, but I avoided him for the past week and I was sure that I was even being inconsiderate. Of course Bella and Seth asked about us, but I couldn't say more than we just had some disagreements that we decided that we quit our tutoring sessions.

Yet, Jacob stopped once more during the week, and all I could do was act as a coward and tell my dad to inform him that I wasn't feeling too good. As much as I tried to say that wasn't even true, I was beginning to feel more ill to the point that it had begun to concern Dr. Cullen. He had been over for the past couple nights when my nose started to bleed and my body began to ache.

It took a lot of convincing of my father to permit me to be here tonight. He was against it, but I just couldn't miss the first night knowing how much work we put into all of it. I was sure he'd enjoy it and that Mr. and Mrs. Cullen weren't too far away if I needed anything.

I wasn't sure how or why my father put so much faith in the couple, but it was like if he depended on them to save me, to keep me alive at any expense. I could only watch them strangely from the side. Don't get me wrong though, they're very nice people and caring as ever, but something I found off about them.

There skin was cold. I always knew that. At first I thought it was because I had the chills that I was feeling this from them, but no matter how I put this into place, it didn't make sense at all. They weren't atheists, but they believed in some sort of creator. Though my father would be one to step in and preach to them, it seemed that he actually accepted them for their choice and how everyone is entitled to their opinion.

Then there eye color. Often they were honey color, but sometimes I would catch the dark glare of pitch black. That frightened me the most witnessing it once. I saw it at the hospital during one of my father's appointments with one of his clients when it happened. I recognized the polite woman I had always known as she waved to my father and me before he disappeared into his client's room and Dr. Cullen began making his way down the hall. It was then they rolled in an emergency patient past us; the body covered, except the face, blood dripping like leaking faucets around him. The sight was horrid, and so were the expressions Mr. and Mrs. Cullen bore on their faces.

They look stunned, but fearless with the eyes of dark saucer pupils. Evil. Is what I thought of at first, but after shaking my head from what I was sure that I witnessed, Mr. and Mrs. Cullen waved goodbye and stormed out of the office quickly. I try not thinking much of it because then I'll start believing in something I really don't want to.

Keeping myself occupied with the play seemed to help a lot. Worrying about whether our schedule is flowing properly usually took most of my time, especially the timing for each scene, like Mrs. Jenkins, I wanted the opening night to be perfect. Which, unfortunately meant that I had to make my appearance in the dressing rooms to make sure that everyone was in their costumes and the costume changes were set in order.

As if I could be more nervous, I had to peek through the curtains to see that we actually had a full house. Was I pleased? Yes, but more of nerve-wreck knowing that most of this was a part of my project that would go against my graduation portfolio, if it was a failure; I'd be disappointed in myself.

"Edward?" Mrs. Jenkins laughed nervously next to me. "Don't worry. Everything is going to be fine, just check on our actors and we'll be ready to wow the crowd."

"Of course, Mrs. Jenkins." I nodded before making my way to the dressing room.

It was chaos walking through the small crowded room, voices overpowering others as I walked through. People passing me by left and right as they rushed to finish the touches on their costumes, make-up being applied to those who needed it, it really did feel like we were throwing on a big show.

"Okay," the stage manager shouted, "places people!"

I watched surprisingly as everyone scrambled out the exit and racing to the stage, some staying behind preparing for the costume changes, and I was about to make my way to the front with Mrs. Jenkins when I saw Jacob.

He made eye contact first. I was a bit caught off guard seeing him in the tuxedo he wore, silver-grey material with a white dress shirt and a black tie. His hair spiked and styled in a way that I had never imagined. He sort of smiled. I returned it nervously before telling him 'good luck' and leaving like a puppy with my tail between my legs.

Each scene played out perfectly as they seemed to skim through each act like professionals. Thankfully, during intermission, all I could hear was the buzz that was being spoken about. I appreciated every compliment given, but I felt the cast deserved it way more than I had. I remained in my seat to keep my review if anything needed changes while Mrs. Jenkins went to the back to give her pep talk and words of encouragement. It was something she usually did.

By the time the curtains had opened for the next act, the crowd went silent and everyone watched in awe as the actors continued to play out their scenes. Foolishly, all I could think about during the play were the moments I had recited the scenes with Jacob every time he came on stage, which was often. And the last scene didn't help me much either as I watched him cry over Alice's still body.

As I scanned the crowd, I noticed that there wasn't really a dry eye in the house. With the last scene playing out with the stunning reveal of Juliet waking from her slumber, all could only hope this tale would end differently. But as goes planned, Romeo's sacrifice seemed to shock most of the crowd with Juliet's suicide following not long after. I was expecting everyone to start booing as the curtains closed.

Here I was, sitting silently in my spot wiping my tears only to see the crowd stand on their feet and applaud so loud that you could be sure that we were at some sort of concert. I stood to clap as the cast came forward through the open curtains to take their bow. Mrs. Jenkins called me to the stage along with a few of the others who made this all possible and gave a small speech of appreciation before we were told to take a bow as well. I could only be thankful that everything turned out, and I was a bit excited to be here.

I was going to join the small cast party that Mrs. Jenkins was hosting down at one of the fancy restaurants downtown, but I found myself way too exhausted to be around anyone. It was that and my body grew sore once again, and it felt like I was about to collapse where I stood if it wasn't for my father's help.

"I'm worried for you son." He said nervously as he escorted me to the car, "I think you're overdoing it."

"I'm beginning to think that you may be right dad." I agreed with a half-smile.

"Is he okay?" I stood next to my dad, a bit uneasy as I notice it was Seth and Bella concerned.

"He'll be fine you guys." My dad assured him, "he's just a bit exhausted."

"But why?" Seth asked. Bella nudged him. "Is he sick or something?"

"I'm fine Seth." I half-smiled, "I'm just a bit tired, haven't been eating properly for the past couple days."

"Well…" Bella procrastinated. "We'll come by tomorrow to check on you, okay."

I didn't respond because I knew there was nothing I could do to argue with them. All I could really do is sit in the car and fall asleep. I barely remember anything after that other than my father helping me into the house and into my bed. From there it was kind of hard to tell reality from fantasy.

Dreams were faded, and so it seemed life was.

The pain. I can never forget the pain. My body, felt so weak, as if I wanted to break. Then nothing. It was very hard to explain, and hard to handle. I would often wake once the pain began, but thankfully, it was dying down with whatever Dr. Cullen seemed to be helping with. I could only hear his voice really other than my father's and the nurses. I knew then I was in the hospital.

I could never remember my dreams, just every moment of waking up and wanting to cry because I felt so helpless. Seeing my dad watch over me helplessly was another wound I couldn't seem to heal either. He began explaining to me that Dr. Cullen has done everything he could for now, and hopefully I could regain my strength like they all had hoped. I didn't know what that had meant until I woke up to Bella and Seth next to me.

"What?" I whimpered weakly, "wh-what are you guys doing here?"

"Edward!" They both said in unison as they moved closer to me.

"You're awake." Bella said, kissing my hand, "you had us worried."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Seth asked, earning a nudge from Bella.

"I didn't want anyone to know." I muttered, turning my gaze from them, "I didn't want you worrying about me."

"But we're your friends Edward," Bella muttered, her voice getting shaky, "we have a right to know no matter what."

"I know," I turned to her, "but this isn't how I want you to remember me as, I didn't want anyone know because I don't know the outcome. I wanted to get through this, but once I stopped responding to the treatments, what was I to do?"

"What does this mean then?" Seth asked.

"It means that my time is limited." I admitted.

The room fell silent. It's exactly what I didn't want, people crying around me and waiting for my last breath. I wasn't exactly feeling as weak as they thought I had, but somehow I did look the part.

"This doesn't mean I won't quit trying." I tried to comfort them, "if I can survive this, I will make the efforts, we just can't give up."

"Are you sure?" They both asked. I shrugged.

"It's possible, at least I believe." I sat up, "but right now, I'd like to get up and use the washroom and maybe go for a walk."

I had to admit that I found some sort of relief with them knowing. But I asked them that they keep this to themselves, somehow. Though I wasn't sure how long this would be kept from Jacob if Seth and Bella already knew. I was hoping they hadn't told him. If I could get through this, then maybe there was some sort of hope.

**A/N: Once again, please take no offense to this story. After this chapter, I'm guessing most people can guess how this story is going to turn out. It will most likely be in Jacob's POV as well just so you know what he's going through.**

**So please, I keep getting favors and alerts, but only few reviews. I would appreciate it if you could leave one, it does keep the story alive.**

**To those who do, thank you so much, I really do appreciate it. Once I can get back on track, I will begin replying.**

**Much Love,**

**TurnItUp03**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Once again, please take no offense to this story. I tried my best no to step on anyone's toes.**

**As for now, the story gets a bit deeper and around the first climax, so I hope you continue to enjoy, and I hope that more readers decided to review as well.**

**D: Disclaimed**

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><p>Chapter Eight<p>

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><p>***Jacob***<p>

I'm trying to think where all this shit started. It all seems to come back to the night I saved Seth. I was sure I would lose my best friend. I was sure that I would wake up everyday regretting the moment I didn't stop him from doing something so stupid, and yet, I let him because I didn't have the balls to speak up.

I thanked the gods that day for bringing Seth back to us.

I promised that I wouldn't be afraid to be his friend, to be anyone's. I promised that I would be there whenever Seth needed me, I'd be the brother he never had, and I would start standing up as a man, and not as a coward. It would all seem easier in that direction, I just didn't expect it to involve Edward Masen Jr.

I admit; I didn't care much for the guy because I always thought that he was just another nerd that liked to use his words to make people like me feel like shit. I guess some just used their fists; that was my excuse. But I could never hurt anyone in such a way unless they made me feel like crap. Edward did it a couple times to the other guys, just recently to Emmett and all he's been talking about is how Edward was going to pay for it.

During the time that Seth was in the hospital, I stayed by his side as much as I could, but that still wipe the slate. I didn't expect it to; I didn't want just a slap on the hand this time. I felt that we all deserved to face the consequences of almost taking a life. I promised Seth that I would spend my life making it up to him, but I would still face the penalties they would sentence us with.

An apology letter to Seth and his family with community service didn't seem like enough. But that's what they gave us. But I think the thought of just being responsible for such an act, was enough to scare the shit out of all of us. I'm sure of it because I knew I wasn't the only one who was sincere with their apology. Emmett, Paul and Jared all felt like shit.

I guess my punishment wasn't to my parents liking, so they spoke to my principal and discovered I had been falling behind. They were furious and we argued for a couple hours that night. It was my dad's idea that they would hire a tutor for me and in order for me to get my bike back; I would have to attend every session.

I just didn't think they would hire Edward Cullen of all people. At the time, I thought it's just what I needed, was him to break down my self-esteem and degrade me mentally for his own pleasure. I had no choice but to agree, and it took every effort to drive to his place and sit across him like I wanted to be there. It was as if I was lying to myself.

But something was different.

I didn't know until now that I was wrong to judge him so drastically, so unfairly that I assumed the worst of him. But I still kept my guard up. I figured if I kept on the tough guy persona and acted like I didn't give a shit, he would give up before I did.

But he did the same, well actually he acted as if he didn't give a damn either, so I had to cope with sitting across from him.

That didn't last long either. Once things began to progress and I began handing in assignments, Seth was the one who convinced me to audition for play, and I just didn't know at the time that Edward was a part of the production team when I received the call back for Romeo. Edward was sick at the time and we couldn't meet for the tutoring sessions for about a week until he came back when I found out I got the part.

Sometimes I wondered if Edward picked me for a reason, because, it was around that time, I think I started falling for him. I would have never admitted it though. It was embarrassing because I was still unsure whether the feelings were real. They scared me at first because he's a guy and I'm a guy, something rarely heard about in a small town like this. I was sure I would be shunned out because of it, which is why I hadn't told anyone. Until it began to feel like I needed to tell him.

It still bothers me to not know what the feeling is that made me want to get closer to him, to want be near him, to have him on my mine more often than I had planned. I was just confused, and to top that off, I kind of had my mind occupied when Allison Uley came to my parent's house in a frantic manner, worried where her son was after he disappeared for a couple days. We began to form search parties with no luck.

Then there was the drastic change in my body. Before I was considered built, but now my body was getting bigger it seemed by the day, and my fondness over Edward seemed to intensify, and I asked him out and took the risk hoping he felt the same way.

The night was everything I had hoped for, and when the others asked my why I was going out with Edward; I told them that it was just something we decided other than studying. Sure I had to tell a few lies to make it all work out, but in the end, it was sort of worth it. Though I did have some difficulties throughout the night. Whenever Edward would cringe, all I wanted to do was pull him in closer to me so he wouldn't have to watch the gore of the show. Then there was the graze of our hands whenever he'd reach for his drink or me purposely dipping my hand in the popcorn the same time he did. I didn't want the movie to end, or the night, and I still couldn't understand why.

When he had to leave because of the movie, I did feel guilty for putting him through it. But it did give us the opportunity to talk more and me to make an excuse to get something to eat before we headed back. I was tempted to mention he leave his car and travel with me, but I couldn't come up with a plausible excuse for him to be even closer.

The diner was the perfect place to get to know him more. Once again my hunger binge seemed to kick in again and I found myself eating more than I planned, and even though I offered to pay, Edward insisted. I just wanted to cater to him in some way. I was starting to really question my priorities. But it didn't seem to matter the more time spent with him, and when he suggested we leave, I didn't want to.

So I figured I'd make the move. Somehow.

The more he spoke, the more intrigued I had become. Then I found myself leaning into him, wanting to taste his lips for the first time. Though I was so close, at the moment I was glad that he stopped me because I was more afraid than anything after that.

As I followed him home, I kept wondering what would have happened if I ever did kiss him. Would I be brave enough to do it again? Did I want to do it again? Where would we go from there? Was I willing to tell my parents that I had fallen for a boy at school? Would they accept me for whom I was? Or would he shun me out for being his own son that turned out to be a fag? I never knew their perspectives on gay people because we've never come across such a thing. For all I knew, they could be accepting.

It took me awhile to decide what I was going to do. I figured I'd continue to pursue Edward in some way and go from there. If he accepted me, then maybe I would tell my parents and those would meant something to me. But first, I needed to know how Edward felt after the date. I needed to know if I scared him away or if he was willing to give me a chance.

Of course I got my answer when I realized he was avoiding me just as I had in the beginning. Could I be blamed for being confused, and now that I was sure, he wouldn't give me the time of day. I would stop by almost every day after school only for Mr. Masen to tell me that he wasn't available. But I knew he was home, and for some strange reason, he was always home.

As hard as I tried, I gave up. My parents blamed me for the tutor sessions being cancelled, and I was being questioned to why I was in the play to begin with. My mother was excited, but my dad didn't seem to pleased, and I never understood why. But I kept rehearsing with Seth and Bella since I had no one else.

By the time opening night came, I was ready and willing to finish this. But I still ached to see Edward. It hurt that he cut me off like he had, and it actually sucked that our rehearsing was cut so short. I never admitted to him that listening to him recite the lines with me had almost made every word feel real. It was easy for me to get into character because I was still imagining Edward speaking the words so truly. It almost felt so real at times.

I wanted to tell him, but I had only seen him once on opening night and he hadn't said anything. I was still a bit upset how he was treating me, and I ignored him.

Though the night was a success, none of it mattered because I really wanted to know how Edward felt I had done. I wanted his approval like it was killing me slowly. I figured I'd ask him at the cast celebration dinner, but he didn't show up. When Seth and Bella arrived last, I asked them if anything was wrong. They didn't say anything other than that they spoke to Edward and that he wouldn't be coming.

As if it could get any worse. I was beginning to feel the sorrow of it all. I felt like shit and it was beginning to bother me. My parents actually congratulated me and took me home that night. But there still was the matter of Sam Uley missing, and no one having a clue where he could be.

Between helping with the search parties once again, and begging to see Edward at least once. I was able to talk to him for a moment, only for him to turn me down and make me feel even more like shit. I wanted to cuss the world out that night. I wanted to kick someone's ass for having to face such rejection.

I kept thinking how unfair it was for Edward to practically ask me not to fall in love with him when it really felt like he cursed me to. It was like he was expecting me to, and I the more I tried being upset about it, I couldn't stay mad at him.

Something was really wrong with me, I was sure of it.

As if shit could get any worse, they had. With Sam returning, came consequences in some way. My parents happened to get in a car accident, which led them to the hospital with unknown conditions. It was Paul and Leah that came to my house to bring me to the hospital. By the time I arrived, I found out that Sam was home and in a shitty condition too, but nothing could prepare me for the news I was a bout to hear.

During the rainy nights, my dad apparently swerved to miss a wild animal, only to have lost control and flip his truck more than once, paralyzing him from the waist down and claiming the life of my mom Sarah. The doctor's said they tried everything, but she was gone before they brought her in, my dad was severely injured and complained to the doctors that he could no longer feel his legs.

I was lost once again. Crying my eyes out for the rest of the night, wondering what I was going to do without my mother, and how I was going to take care of my dad if my sisters wouldn't come home from college. I would have to make some major adjustments that I wasn't ready for.

Then I saw him.

Edward.

I was confused to why he was walking down the hall in a hospital gown attached to a monitor, looking slightly different than I remembered. He was pale, skinny and weak. I followed him down the hall knowing I still had to wait for my father to wake up again, ignoring the other's who sat with me. I needed to know if I saw what I saw.

I slowly walked down the hall with tears still dripping down my cheek. Not only had I lost my mother, and my father was in the ICU, now I was seeing hallucinating that Edward walking down the hall not looking like him.

I could hear the machines beeping as I passed every room. The smell of hand sanitizer invading my nostrils, the nurse on the PA system making an announcement, certain people walking down the halls as I moved closer to the room I was sure that I had seen Edward walk into.

I took a deep breath before I took another step forward and into the room. At first I knocked, not sure if I should go forth, but after hearing someone telling me to come in, I came to see Mr. Masen helping Edward back into the hospital bed.

"Edward?" I muttered.

He turned his head quickly. His expression blank the moment he realized he noticed it was me.

"How did you get in here?" Mr. Masen began to walk towards me to escort me out.

"What's going on?" I asked, a bit offended as I pulled my arm from his hold, and upset.

"Nothing boy," he spoke again as he grabbed my arm again.

"Don't lie to me…" I replied frustrated, "I just found out my mother's gone and my dad is fighting for his life, and now this…" I stared at Edward. "What is wrong? What's going on?"

"Please Jacob?" Mr. Masen pleaded, "you're not making this easier."

"How much worse can it get?" I said angered, frustrated, and hurt. "Are you okay Edward?"

He remained speechless. I was right when I noticed he didn't look too healthy either.

"It's okay dad." Edward finally spoke; weakly. "I knew I would have to tell him too eventually."

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Mr. Masen asked concerned.

"I'll be fine." He muttered as he covered up. I reluctantly approached him slower than before. It worried me how unhealthy he was looking. "I didn't want you to know, and I didn't want anyone else to know, but I guess I can't hide it."

"What?"

"It's kind of hard to tell you this when you just mentioned that you lost your mother and your dad is fighting for his life," Edward sighed, "which I'm very sorry."

I didn't say anything, I was afraid I would break down right here.

"Jacob," he responded weakly, "I'm dying."

"What?" I stuttered, unsure if I heard him correctly.

"I've known for awhile, I just didn't think any of you should know." He continued, "I didn't want anyone to know. Which is why I didn't want to make any more friends than I had, I didn't want anyone have to grieve."

"That's selfish Edward." I said upset, "how can you push us away when we did nothing but show how much we cared."

"I didn't think it was in the beginning." Edward replied, "but after I stopped responding to the treatments, I just accepted it."

"Cancer?" I asked, he nodded, "but you can get better?" I asked hopeful.

"I wish I could say yes." He muttered, "but I have already been given a deadline."

"What? How? Why?"

"I'm sorry if this isn't okay with you Jacob, but I have accepted it…" He said sadly, "unfortunately."

"So, you're just gonna die?" I asked angered.

"So it seems."

"How long?" I asked.

"What?"

"How long?"

"Two to three weeks."

"This isn't fair." I stood up angrier than I had ever been, I couldn't think straight. I was facing the biggest challenges I had ever, and I was supposed to accept this. "What about us?"

"I'll always be your friend."

"That's not what I mean." I growled; Mr. Masen flinched.

"I don't understand."

"You didn't even give me a chance." I fell to his side and found myself crying as I held his hand in mine, my face buried in between them. "I wanted that chance."

"What is he saying son?" Mr. Masen asked.

"I'm saying that…" I sobbed, trying to catch my breath as I realized what I was just about to confess. "… I'm in love with your son."

"Oh…" was all he said, "I didn't know."

"Neither did I." I muttered, "at least I wasn't sure until now."

"You can't be sure." Edward said. "I told you not to."

"Telling me not to isn't as easy." I replied frustrated, "I can't stop what I feel, and now I just feel so lost."

"Jake…" he took a deep breath, "there is no us, there can't be an us. Please go."

I never thought words could cut so deep, but now it felt as if he sliced my insides into tiny pieces.

I didn't have the strength to argue, nor did I want to anymore. I was more upset than anything because I still had to face reality, and watch my life crumble in front of my eyes. My heart had never felt so damn heavy, and it pulsed as if a sledgehammer had been banging through my rib cage. I wasn't looking forward to planning my mother's funeral, and I was sure how long it would be until I could see my father, and now my best friend wanted nothing to do with me.

How was I supposed to cope?

I could've been imagining everyone's concern as I walked past them in the waiting area, but I doubted it. Voices were muffled and faces were blurred, and all I wanted to do was get the hell out of here and start over somehow. Or just sleep this all away. I was a walking zombie; numb and brainless as I exited the hospital.

I've never cried so much in my life, and all the emotions were building I couldn't decipher which was which, jus that it hurt, and I hated it. The one person I needed the most, was no longer here. My mom always knew what to say; what to do. I would do anything for another hug from her. Anything to hear her voice.

But it was the screaming in my head. I couldn't even put the damn key in the ignition. My head was pulsing, my body was beginning to heat up and ache, like my bones were stretching and retracting to their size. It was as if I could feel my blood flow through my veins as it raced through my heart and down through my entire body, giving me a head rush, than back to an ache. The emotional pain began turning physical, and I found my self stepping out of my car and into the rain.

Steam radiated from my skin, like I was becoming ill. I thought that maybe I was ready to die to. I could've gone back into the hospital, but I really didn't want to. I found myself crossing the highway and into the park. The rain poured down my face, drowning away the tears, and all I wanted to do now was run. To feel the cool air soothe my body and the pain that came with it.

Then there was the adrenaline. Something that had pumped my body's blood stream to react in such a way that I was sure I was in some sort of beast mode. My feet were moving faster than the usual, and my breaths began to even as I realized that something very strange was happening.

Then like a jolt of energy that sent my entire body in shock, I fell to the forest floor in a writhing pain. I could hear my bones crack. The searing pull on my muscles as it felt as if they were stretching and expanding around my bones as they grew rapidly. With everything, my forms began to change and shift as I stretched out and roll across the wet soil. I could only scream from the agony. But that didn't last long as I could feel my entire move forward until I was standing on all fours.

I was still breathing heavy, afraid to open my eyes because I now, I could hear things I was sure I could never. The ocean close by, it's waves clashing against the shore, the rain pelting against the cliffs and trees, and cars passing through the highway about a mile away. I perched my head up to check my surroundings, but what I saw was far beyond what I expected.

The dark night became clearer as I could now see the shadows of the night. Outlines of the forests became recognizable, like –night vision. I blinked more than once and shook my head.

I came to a startle just when I noticed that I no longer had feet, but massive paws that dug into the ground without a problem. I backed away in fear, not realizing I had crashed into a tree behind me causing me to stumble across the ground and tumble without having the knowledge of standing anymore.

What should have been a curse words coming from my mouth were barks and whines.

I wasn't me.

I had fur. A tail. I was a dog. A wolf. I think.

I was panicking now, and I was sure that my nightmare kept getting worse and worse. Every time I closed my eyes I was sure I'd be back to myself, but ended up in the same situation. Shouting through my head, only to be heard from the barks and whines. I was going insane and I was sure that my head was about to burst.

I was running by now. A lot faster than the usual, I could feel the burn in my legs, the wind against my snout, and everything so much clearer than I had imagined. I was sure I was being cursed for no reason. Or if it had, who would do such a thing.

Where do I go from here? My dad was in the hospital, my mom was gone…

Suddenly, it all came crashing down on me.

The pain seemed way too real, all I could do was howl and cry at the moon. I needed the comfort desperately from someone, and the only person that really came to mind was Edward. For some reason, I needed him here to tell me that everything was going to be okay, even if it was just a lie. Just for a moment.

As I lay at the top of the cliffs with the moon now shining through the clouds, my head was rested on my paws. I could only close my eyes and hope to wake up from this nightmare.

Maybe everything would be okay.


	9. Chapter 9

**D: Disclaimed**

* * *

><p>Chapter Nine<p>

* * *

><p>***Jacob***<p>

I just wanted to get out of here.

I don't know where I would go. Just somewhere where the pain no longer existed. I was supposed to stand strong, and the only way I could was to stand as a hollow shell. Deprived to listen to the people who knew my mother share the memories they had of her as I try with all of my strength to stand next to my father in a wheel chair.

When he awoke, they had to break the news to him that he had lost his wife of twenty years, and that he was now paralyzed from the waist down. I've never seen the man cry, and I never wanted to. But to see someone as strong as he was, break down in tears, made me so god damn soft. My father needed me more than I needed him because I knew from then on our lives had changed.

Not only was I grieving, but now I could turn into a giant wolf without knowing how to control it. Anger usually triggered it. But how could I not be angry when it felt as if my world had turned on me. As much as it upset me that everyone in this room pitied me, I made the effort just to ignore them and think about the moments I had spent with my mother.

It was something none of us could prepare for, and my dad wasn't ready to let go. I wasn't ready to let go. But standing in that cemetery, just made everything feel so real. With the rain coming down like showers, it really felt as if my mother was somewhere in heaven trying to wash away all of pain for a new day. At least that's what I could pray to only feel.

It did help that I had Seth and a few of the others to comfort me, but it didn't make my worries go away. I had to fix myself in some way. Or at least get back on my feet. But then there was the thought of Edward.

I really couldn't understand why it bothered me so much. I was only beginning to get to know him, and yet, it felt as if I had known him for a lifetime. And now he was leaving. Not only would I be burying my mother, but also soon, it would be him. I'd have to find some way to get through all of this, to prepare myself.

Everything going through my head bothered the shit out of me.

I couldn't stay, and yet I couldn't go.

Like I said, I wanted to leave. To run or something.

After changing back from being a giant wolf, I was sure that was just a hallucination. But now, all I wanted to do was change back and escape from this place. To run through the forests to free myself from all of the worry and ware of life and it's decisions. I so badly wanted that freedom.

But everyone hovered.

When everyone decided to go back to the house for refreshments and crap, I needed to get out of there in some way. With Seth's concern, I told him to let other's who mattered that I needed my space. I needed time.

I didn't know where I was going, but I just drove. I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I couldn't tell myself to stand strong anymore when all I wanted to do was scream. The tears just barreled down my cheeks life waterfalls. My head was now pulsing and it felt as if my chest was about to burst from my heavy breathing. I had to stop. I had to let it out whether I liked it or not.

That's when the memories flooded my thoughts like tsunami. My mom holding me on the stormy nights when dad would be coming home late, or when my sisters would bully me and she would give them shit for being so cruel. The times she would always cook my favorite snack when I would feel down, or when she would sing me to sleep when I couldn't sleep.

Most of were of her and my dad. She always explained how happy she was to find her soul mate, and how dad felt the same. We were the perfect family in their eyes, and somehow, we were. They loved each other unconditionally, and they hoped that my sisters and me would find exactly what they had. It was my mom's dream. Lately, she would go on about how and when I would find the love of my life, but she would never say wife. I always wondered, but I think she expected in some ways before I had.

I didn't think at the time that I was gay. I had been attracted to girls at some points, and there were a few that I wasn't brave enough to ask to be my girlfriend. But then I developed a crush, one I would never admit. Seth. At first I grew fond of who he was, and in the beginning I pictured how life might be next to him. But he's straight. He made that clear every time he'd get carried away talking about Bella or some other random girl that he was crushing on.

I was sure it would only be Seth until I met Edward. The feelings I had for my friend were no longer there and were replaced with the brotherly relationship. Now I can no longer see him as such.

Edward was different.

He was the first I had ever admitted my love to, and it never felt so right. I wanted to prove to him that there was something there between us; it's just… I didn't know that we had such limited time. I couldn't see him. I would be reminded so much of why it could never work. He'd be leaving and I would be stuck here without hope. I wasn't ready to face failure, not again.

So why was I parked in front of the hospital again. This wasn't the first time. This had to be the fifth time, and each time, I couldn't find myself to walk in. I couldn't bring myself to face him. But a part of me desperately craves to see his face again. To have some comfort, to have some sort of hope that maybe the outcome has changed somehow. It has been a week since I had last seen him, and our final words were something I didn't want to leave it as.

So rather than fleeing this time, maybe I was supposed to be here in some way. Maybe it was my mom's way of constantly steering me back to this place. Back to Edward. Could she already know? I was about to find out. It was like my mind was on pilot, and all I could do was follow my feet as they led me across the parking lot and into the hospital. I was now soaked, but it hadn't bothered me like it would before. My body heat seemed to have some sort of comfort to me. But it didn't change the fact that I probably ruined my last suit that fit me.

Usually, visitors were no longer allowed in at this hour, so I didn't bother checking into the front desk and I made my way down the nearly empty hallway, finding my way back to where I remembered to be Edward's room. I entered with caution of coarse. I didn't want to frighten him anyway, I just wanted to check up on him and apologize somehow.

But as I entered the room, the curtains were now up to cover Edward's bed. I could hear the slow beeping of the monitors in the room. I could smell the alcohol from the cleaning products them must've used just recently. I could even smell the slight bit of blood from someone or somewhere close by. It reminded me of the reasons I didn't like coming into hospitals.

I slowly approached the curtains in hopes not to frighten him, but as I slowly moved them aside, he was sound asleep as the monitor next to him beat calmly. His pale face looked peaceful as he slept. His hair was tousled and out of place, and his body looked just as thin as I remembered when the last time I was here.

Rather than wake him, I quietly pulled a chair next to him and watched him as he moved slightly. His hand hung over the edge, and all I could do was grab it and hold it. He still slept, and I tried my best to keep it that way. But as I watched him lay on the hospital bed, I could only remember the sadness of this all. Even in his sleep, I was sure he was fighting for his survival. What could I do to make this easier for him? I wanted to make this easier for him.

Somehow, being here, next to him, calmed me in so many ways that I was sure that I would never need to cry again. But here I was, wiping the tears that struggled to fall down my cheek. How could someone look so peaceful, yet so fragile and sick? All I could do was wish that I could do something for him.

It made me wonder if he was dreaming. What he was dreaming about. If he was dreaming about me. Could I have that affect on him just as he had on me? Or was I burdened with false hope? Whatever these feelings were, I could no longer fight them. I didn't want to anymore. But what would we be fighting for? It would seem we'd be setting ourselves up for failure.

The more I sat here, the more time it gave me to think. What if he survived? Where would we go from here? Would he even give me a chance if I had begged him? Did he really want me to leave when he asked? Was I being selfish for blaming him for not telling me? All I wanted to do was hug him.

"I wish I knew what to do." I muttered to myself. "If only you told me sooner, maybe we'd have more time. Maybe I could show you more than what you had been missing. I'm not sure if you can hear me, but I'm kind of glad that you're sleeping so you can't, because the things I want to say had never been spoken."

The room was still the same. The constant beeping, the whirring of the vents above us, the flickering of the lights in the hallway, and the moon still shining outside through the trees and into the dark room, all making me aware that it was just us here.

Mr. Masen was most likely at home resting by now, and everyone else was probably sent home too. I was sure that a nurse would check on him soon, but none made the appearance.

Yet, he still lay peacefully. Breathing lightly. His chest slowly rose and fell, his eye would sometimes twitch, his hands still warm, and his lips chapped. A syringe tube was attached to the back of his hand. His dirty blonde hair tousled and all over the place.

"I could only imagine the pain you're going through." I slowly brought his hand to my lips, kissing it softly for the first time in my life. It felt so right. "A part of me wishes I could take it away."

"Sir," I became startled by the silhouette by the door, a nurse stood there with concern on her face. "You shouldn't be here sir, visiting hours had been over hours ago."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, now looking at the clock not realizing I dozed off, noticing that it was almost four in the morning. "I just had to see him. I didn't mean to disturb anyone."

"Jacob?" I could hear Edward's muffled voice, "is that you?"

"Edward?" I looked at his figure move in the dark, then back to the nurse, "I'll leave as soon as I say goodbye."

"You have five minutes." She ordered before leaving the room.

"What are doing?" Edward asked as he began moving.

"I don't know." I shrugged, sitting next to him in the poorly lit room. "I just needed to see you."

"But why?"

"Because I didn't know where else to go." I admitted in a shaky voice. "All I could think about this past week other then the loss of my mom was you, and I just kept coming here. I feel so lost."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything." I admitted, "I don't expect you to say anything, but please, just listen."

"Okay."

"I didn't mean to throw this all on you at once," I muttered, "but I was just so angry that I couldn't handle anything. I wanted to be mad at the world, not you, not my mom, not my dad… I just… hated everything I was hearing."

"You didn't have time to accept any of this?" He muttered to himself, refusing to make eye contact at the moment.

"No I didn't." I sighed, "I have never felt so broken in my life before Edward, and usually a friend should be there to help a friend get through things like this, but how can they when their friend is dying?"

"What about Seth? What about the rest of the guys you're friends with?" He asked unsure.

"They're too big of cowards to be there for anyone," I admitted, "when it comes to shit like this, most of us run because none of us are good with emotions; it's kind of always been like this."

"I'm sorry." He murmured, "for everything."

"Yeah," I sniffled, "so am I."

"Times up." The nurse announced.

"Look, um," I stood up slowly, "I'll come back."

"But Jake…"

"No," I interrupted, "we both need this; I know it."

As I left, I knew he wanted to say more, much more, and so did I. But we were lost for words really. I was confused still, and I'm sure he was. What should he expect the moment he woke with me next to his bed? Especially when I hardly knew my reasons, just that I felt the urge to be near him.

I was in my truck again, and the morning was beginning to settle in. People were driving to work while others seem to be running errands. I was exhausted, so I decided that I would go back home before everyone began to worry. Of course I was right when my dad had Rachel calling all over the place. I wasn't in the mood of listening to her bickering and concerns, so I basically ignored everyone and went straight to my bedroom to lie down.

I needed to figure things out, and the loss of sleep wasn't helping. But I guess my body couldn't handle being awake more than three days and decided that it was time to rest. But even my dreams haunted me.

That night kept replaying like a horror scene. My mind hoping that the news would change every time, but to only end up in disappointment. My mother would still be gone, my father paralyzed, and Edward still on his death bed.

Then there was the wolf.

This time it wasn't just me. There were more wolves. Just as big as I was, and curious as the first day I changed. I still didn't know why and how I turned into this, but something told me that there was a reason.

I woke up in a sweat. My body felt like a heated furnace and I struggled to get out my clothes and out of the house as fast I could. Everyone must have been sleeping by this time because the house was dark, and my mind was set on the front door before anyone could stop me. It was the same feeling I had felt before, and I had an idea that I was going to change once again.

I didn't want to, but once again, I was losing the battle.

The faster I ran, the easier it seemed. I was now running naked and I could feel the bones in my body shift, the blood in my system pump, and my head race. Rather than the slow tension of the first shift, this was happening a lot quicker, and a lot easier than I had expected it. With every step, I was becoming the wolf I seen before. In an instant, I was on all fours, racing through the forest at an unlikely speed.

Everything was a blur. The trees were a blur, but yet I could spot them quick enough to maneuver my way through them. My hearing was clear, and my sight was heightened. All of my senses were heightened. To the smallest insect becoming noticeable, to the distance of the ocean becoming louder, everything seemed so clear.

Then there was a howl.

Now I was on alert. Standing at the edge of the cliffs, overlooking the ocean, I could tell the location of the wolf. It was near the rez, and I wasn't sure if that was safe. I was about to investigate, but I could hear another howl, informing me that it was coming my way. I guess it was my instincts being put into play as I prepared myself for any attack, so I howled back as a warning. Now snarling and growling as I could hear the heavy footsteps tread closer and closer.

My stance was solid, my ears pressed against my head, my teeth bared, my fur erect, and my tail swinging back and forth in a warning. If this wolf was a threat to me, I wasn't about to stand down. Yet, the human part of me wanted to flee and escape from the here. It was that loss of control. Fighting two parts of me.

'_Stan…. own…'_ A male voice muffled, as if it had been spoken through the winds.

I snarled and growled to see a black wolf. It stood in the same threatening form, and as much as I believed to be frightened by it, the only thing that kept going through my head to pounce and tear this wolf to shreds.

'_I said… and….nnn…'_ The muffled voice spoke again, deep and angered I was sure it was the wolf in front of me trying to communicate.

'_Back off mutt!'_ I growled back, stomping forward. _'I don't have time for this bullshit.'_

'_Stand …wn …cob'_ I was sure it was a him, and him who was speaking.

'_What?'_ I pulled back unsure.

'_I said stand down!'_ The voice was much clearer and threatening, but that still didn't bother me in any way. The damn wolf was now circling me and trying to threaten me with his snarls, _'who are you?'_

'_Oh, we're sharing names now?' _I replied annoyed, _'what the hell am I thinking?'_ I thought to myself.

'_Jacob?'_ The moment the wolf spoke of my name, I became alert and a bit concerned to how and why.

'_Who the hell?'_ I stumbled back, _'How can you know that?'_

'_Whoa whoa,'_ the wolf said more calmly, now a bit more friendly. _'Calm down Jake.'_

I recognized that voice, but I couldn't put a face to it. I stared at the wolf as if I was sure I had gone crazy by now. I was making up stories now; I was sure that it was Sam Uley talking, but did that mean he was a wolf too.

'_I am.'_ He bowed his large head to me. _'I never thought there would be another one like me, especially since it's only the Cullens around.'_

'_The Cullens?' _I shook my head in disbelief, _ 'What the hell is going on? What are you talking about? How do we change back?'_

'_Relax, relax Jake.' _The wolf approached me, I accidentally snapped. _'The first thing you need to know is control. Find yourself and you can practically phase back and forth.'_

'_Why in the hell are we wolves?'_ I asked frustrated, _'How did this happen?'_

'_Our magic awakened.'_ He replied as he now sat on his hind legs. _'When the cold ones returned, I was the first to phase, and now you; something tells me that you're not the last either. I was told there will be more.'_

'_Cold ones? Phase? Exactly why?'_

'_Because from here on Jacob, you and me are protectors of our people, especially from the cold ones.'_ He then moved and began pacing, _'cold ones are vampires. They feed off humans most of time, they kill them. It's our job to destroy them.'_

'_But you said Cullens?'_

'_Exactly, but they're different from the others,' _Sam replied, _'I haven't killed them because we hold a treaty with them. They promised to never harm a human, but to hunt animals to feed, if they break the treaty, we will have no choice to end them.'_

'_Are you crazy though,' _I blurted out. _'The doctor works at the hospital. Around injured humans who happen to bleed.'_

'_He hasn't harmed any.'_ He stated, _'Dr. Cullen and his wife… well… they haven't fed off of a human for years. It goes to prove with their eye color, they would be red if they fed off any of them.'_

'_How are you so sure?' _

'_Because I was educated by the council,' _He replied annoyed, _'you too will be educated.'_

'_This can't be real.'_

'_Well it is,'_ he stood up and began walking away, _'soon enough, you'll find out just how real this all is. Follow me, we'll phase back and I will begin to tell you how this all plays out.'_

'_Where are we going?'_

'_Emily's.' _He began to trot, _'she's part of the reason I need to explain something very important, something that you will need to know soon enough.'_

Like before, picturing my human self seemed to help me change back, and once again, I was left naked until Sam came to me with a pair of shorts. He suggested that from now on, it would just be easier for me to wear just that since our body temperature could handle it. That way if I happened to phase in a short notice, I could easily slip out of them without ruining another set of clothes.

For the time being, Emily's explanation to how she fitted in would need to wait, and I was to be introduced to the council, those who knew about the tribe's legends and how we fit in. I was more surprised to find that my dad was a part of it, and when he discovered that I had phased, he seemed proud of it. He even asked me to see my wolf sometime soon.

It sort of bothered me that this seemed to make him forget about my mom, but I guess it helped him get through the pain he was facing. It was sort of a distraction for the both of us, but more of a burden for me at the moment. Not only had I discovered that I would be a danger to most of those near me, I found out that I would need to stand clear of everyone, including my dad, and Edward.

I wouldn't tell anyone about him, but now I was being forced to stay at Sam's while I began my training. Not only were the Cullen's the only vampires, but now there were small covens and sometimes nomads that would attempt to disturb the peace. I was being kept occupied, and it seemed I would never have time to see Edward at least one more time.

I was on constant watch too, which meant that time was running short to say the goodbyes I never wanted to.

I was devastated.


End file.
